Pathway of Blessing

His Eye is on the Sparrow

2012-02-17T10:28:00.004-06:00

Why should I be discouraged
why should the shadows come
why should my heart be lonely
and long for heav'n and home,
when Jesus is my portion?
My constant friend is He;
His eye is on the sparrow
and I know He watches me.

It is hard to write about the painful things in life. But we know they will come. In John 16:33, it says,

"I have said these things to you,
that in Me you may have peace.
In the world
you will have tribulation.
But take heart,
I have overcome the world."

He tells us, as Christ-followers, to expect difficult times. Now I can understand some of the hard things that might come our way, being mocked at work because of taking a stance with Christ, losing friends or family members because of accepting Jesus as Lord of our life, being persecuted, tortured or even losing our lives for the sake of the Truth.

But what about the times when the source of difficulty is completely unexpected? When we are fired without just cause? when we lose a dear friend? when our integrity is questioned? How do we handle it when the rug is pulled out from under us?

"Let not your heart be troubled"
His tender voice I hear,
and resting in His goodness,
I lose my doubt and fear;
tho' by the path He leadeth
but one step I may see:
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know he watches me.

I was walking through my living room this morning, opening curtains and feeling saddened by the sinfulness of this world, the hate, the selfishness, the anger that drives people apart, and I decided to try sitting at the piano. I haven't done this much since my back surgery, as it has been a bit uncomfortable. But I'm so glad that I tried it this morning. I do believe that it was God that prompted me to sit down, and open my old hymnal, because He had something He wanted to remind me of.

Whenever I am tempted
whenever clouds arise,
when songs give place to sighing,
when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him,
from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He cares for me.

When the rug is pulled out from under us, and we find ourselves lying on our backs, in pain and vulnerable, we should find ourselves looking up...into the the wonderful face of Jesus. He will never leave us or forsake us, His eye is constantly upon us, even more than the tiny sparrow that flies about. (Hebrews 13:5, Psalm 32:8, Luke 12:6-7)

He has promised a multitude of things to us, and when we start remembering them, we can be comforted. To have the Lord of All, the One who is Truth and Peace and Love, to be on our side, loving and caring for us, our heart can be at rest. If He is for us, who can be against us?

Lord, comfort us with your Truth, Your Peace, Your love.

While I love this song, I wish the word were changed from "I sing because I'm happy" to "I sing because I'm joyful"...sometimes I don't feel "happiness", but I am full of joy-because of the very things the song speaks of!

The Hard Things...Beautiful?

2012-02-08T18:24:00.007-06:00

I am a missionary kid.

My parents are missionaries. They have served in Bolivia, South America and now, they are here in the states, teaching and training others who are going into cross cultural ministry. They are passionate about increasing the Kingdom of God-especially in parts of the globe where, unless someone goes with the Good News, those living there will never be able to hear it, accept it and have the joy of knowing Jesus.

I was 9 years old when our family arrived in Bolivia, and a few months later, my adventure at Tambo began. (Tambo was the New Tribes boarding school in Bolivia)

Recently, it was announced that Tambo was being investigated for abuse. There are many different kinds of abuse that have occurred over the years in different boarding schools and organizations-it sounds like these are the things being looked into at our school.

My heart is heavy. My mind is confused. I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that people that I looked up to and respected as authority figures were capable of such horrible choices. That said, I thank God for the many adults who lived out God's truth, His love, and ministered to us children from the heart.

But sadly, my mind and heart are haunted more by the adults who made the wrong choices. To look back now, and understand that some of those lives were just lies being lived out-it makes my mind whirl and my heart ache. To know that pride drove the way that decisions were made rather than following God's heart-tears are balling up in my throat. It has shed light on a belief system that was developed in my childhood...adults are always right. Authority is always right.

(I am laughing right now, because I know better. For Pete's sake, even my children know better! They know that this woman is an imperfect woman who doesn't always have the right answer, or make the right choice. They graciously forgive me time after time.)

But although I know better in my head, my heart still whispers that line of thinking to me. In the times when I feel threatened and nervous, I have to shake my head and say "nope. The only One I listen to is the One that counts." And my husband, of course! But usually, they are telling me the same thing!

There were a lot of things I loved about Tambo. In fact, up until recently, I would have said I loved everything about growing up there. But then I started to realize that maybe some of the things that I thought were "normal"-maybe they weren't so much. And then, I learn that there are people who have been abused, and people who are struggling, after so many years, to heal from their experience at Tambo.

I realized about a month ago that I have very few memories of my first two years there. I remember that I was assigned to the "Genny Dorm", but I actually don't have any memories of actually being in that dorm. Once in a while, I have a vague recollection of something, but the harder I try to remember the faster it fades away. Honestly, it scares me-I'm wondering if I am blocking memories...I don't know. I don't know if I want to know.

I have a couple of sad memories of things that I wish hadn't happened to me. But I also, and probably more so, remember the things that I did that were hurtful. I know that I foolishly embarrassed a classmate when I was in (maybe 6th grade?) . I feel HORRID about that now. I don't even remember if I got a spanking for that-though let me tell you, I should have! But I have a memory with that same classmate...one night she said she accepted Christ as her Saviour, and I remember we were swinging on the swings singing with our whole hearts..."There's a new name written down in glory, and it's mine, oh yes, it's mine...!" (a little ironic that I was rejoicing with her and yet it wasn't until I was 12 years old that I actually made the decision to accept Him as Lord of my Life!)

But to be honest, I don't want to remember that there were good times. Because I don't know which of those times were truly good. How many times was there laughter on the outside, but crying on the inside? What if a memory that I think is great is actually a memory that brings sharp pain to a friend's soul?

I'm sure in time the pendulum will swing back slowly and there will be balance, but all I really think about now is the pain that classmates and friends have suffered. The pain that they were suffering while we were living life together. What if someone tried to say something, or reach out, or ask for help, and I did not notice. Or worse, I did not respond?

It is a tangled web of emotions and thoughts that have invaded my life in the past few months. I am thankful for my husband, who is willing to just sit and listen. Or, when I need it, to pray with me. I am thankful that I have a family that loves each other. My parents and siblings have been able to be honest, open and supportive as we talk about what Tambo meant to each of us.

These are horrible, painful things that people have to deal with. My favorite verse and song while I was a at Tambo was "He makes all things beautiful in His time." It seems hard to imagine in light of all the pain that is still being suffered. I don't take this promise lightly, and I imagine that when in a place of pain, it might even seem impossible. But I want to believe it, I choose to believe it.

That not only can He, but He will...in time, make all things, even the really hard things, beautiful.

LORD,

please help me to wholeheartedly believe this
because honestly, at times,
it just seems so hard to imagine
that anything that painful
could become anything near beautiful.

Blessed with Time

2012-02-02T15:30:00.003-06:00

Even though "taking it easy" while I recuperate from surgery has not been the easiest thing to do, I am struck this afternoon with the thought that I have been blessed with all this time to focus on just a few things, rather than the so many different things that are usually bouncing around in my mind.

~I have been able to dream (and start planning) my sister's wedding reception
~I have finally finished working on our 2012 budget
~I am looking forward to working on a presentation of my parent's ministries over the years
~most of all, I get to pray. A lot.

I love talking with the Lord, and I think I would probably describe my prayer life as an ongoing conversation between us. There's not always a clear starting or stopping point. Sometimes, He or I get interrupted with math questions, or sibling rivalry, but He understands. We just pick up where we left off when the quiet returns.
These days, I get to talk to Him a lot about other people and the struggles and joys they are facing. Something that I didn't expect was how much my heart would be reminded of what a person means to me. Some, I haven't even seen for years, some I don't know that well, but as I pray, God carves out a little place in my heart for them. I am glad, because when my body is healed and I am back to many things bouncing around in my brain and I don't have the time to sit on Facebook all day long (grin), each person will still have a little place in my heart that will remind me to pray for them.
So, here I sit, excited and wanting to make the most of the coming days. Thank You, Lord, for all these precious people that You have put into my life. Let me not take lightly the privilege You are giving me, for this season, to intercede on their behalf! Thank you for blessing me with this time!

Healing

2012-01-29T10:59:00.004-06:00

My family is at church and I am here in my "new" recliner in the family room, with an aromatherapy pack over my shoulders and listening to the crackling of the fire.

I am thinking about these past couple of weeks, what the Lord has allowed and the different types of pain and healing that are going on inside of me.

The physical pain from having back surgery 12 days ago is still there. But I am taking all the measures that I can to keep it under control. As my mom told me, "be good". Follow the doctor's orders. Be still. Don't lift. Make sure to ice it every hour. Don't bend. Don't reach. Don't sit upright for too long.

I'm doing it. By God's grace, I'm doing it-even when I think "well, just this once won't hurt". Because I know that if I do these things, the pain will eventually go away. My back will heal properly, and in time I will again be able to bend, lift, run, jump, twist, etc, etc.

Last night, I had such a difficult time falling asleep. I was in pain. My back wasn't the culprit-it was my heart. My heart literally hurt. Though the cause of the pain is relational and emotional in nature, the pain was still great enough to be felt physically. And the thing about this pain is that I don't know what to do to make it go away. I want a list that I can follow. An if-you-do-this-then-this-will-happen type of list. I want to know what to do to promote healing-to go back to the way things were before. I've done everything I know to do.

The only thing that I can do now is pray. And wait. And then pray some more. And trust.

I have heard that when a bone breaks, once it has healed the bond is stronger than it was before. Do you think the same happens in an emotional or relational bond? That once the fracture heals, the bond is stronger than ever? I pray so.

It does all boil down to one thing, though. While weak bodies, breaks, surgeries, etc are the domain of Satan and this cursed earth, strength and healing are the domain of God. Jehovah-Rappha, my God who heals.

There truly is comfort in knowing and trusting that He is a God who loves healing. If He is for me, who can be against me?

{If I could stand up right now and shout wahoo!, I would...this truly is encouraging to me! But as it is, I'm unable to get out of this recliner without the help of my dear hubby..so my heart is just bubbling out "wahoos!" and I'm standing up on the inside!}

the past month....

2012-01-17T09:40:00.006-06:00

Well, I didn't get to post like I wanted, but not because of busyness. I just felt awful! And I mean awful!
The side effects of the meds that my doctor put me on were intense nausea and GI issues. It was miserable there for a while. I finally called my doctor and asked for some kind of anti-emetic to get me over the initial effects. With that, there was a bit of relief.
My parents, two of my sisters, my brother and his family and a family friend were here for the holidays, and it was SO nice to be together. We spent most of our time sitting by the fireplace visiting. Dad and Chris went golfing a few times (on the Wii in the basement!).
I have mentioned in the past about the chronic low back pain that I've dealt with for years. For over a decade, we have tried every conservative approach that we (and chiropractors, doctors, physical therapists and massage therapists) could think of.
On the 28th of December, I had an MRI scan. The results showed that the disc between the L5 and S1 vertebrae is severely degenerated-almost completely gone.
We knew, after praying about it and talking to the doctor, that the time for surgery had come. For avoiding it and dreading it for so many years, I think it is amazing the peace that I have with it all.
So, tomorrow morning at 6:00am, we arrive at the hospital and two hours later I will be having a titanium steel implant put between those two vertebrae-and over time, Lord willing, the bones will fuse together.
The only thing that I have worried about is the financial aspect. Over the past few months, we have racked up medical bills and I know that several more will start coming in. Honestly, I almost canceled the surgery because of it.
But my dear (wise) husband reminded me that this surgery is God's plan and His answer to the years of searching. So, instead of calling off the surgery, we are making other drastic changes.
Unless God dramatically shuts the door, we will be moving this summer. For those of you who have been following my blog-you know how I feel about the home we are in. I love it. I really, really love it.
But it's not just the house that I love. It's my neighbors, as well. I have been blessed beyond words by the two sisters in Christ who live right across the street from me. Dawn and Alaina are women who love the Lord with all their hearts...and I admire them!
Yet, even as I wrestle with the emotion of it, I know that paying our medical bills and paying off our debt is what we need to focus on. And so, I am willing to move into a place that is smaller in order to accomplish this.
I have contacted the realtor for a house that has been up for sale for over a year, asking if the owner is interested in renting to us. I like the house-it is one that we looked at when we first found out we were moving to the Fox Valley. God knows what our future is, but until He shows me differently, I am praying that something works out with that particular house.
In the meantime, my life consists of doing school with my kids, recuperating from back surgery, watching my cousin's little guy 2x a week, and slowly going through stuff (again) in order to prepare for another move.
In all this, I have been reminded so many times to choose FAITH. To put my faith in who God is, what He says, and what He does.

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
Hebrews 11:1

"Without faith, it is impossible to please God."
Hebrews 11:6

"Oh Lord, increase our faith!"
Luke 17:5

Well, I need to get back to helping my kids with schoolwork. Will is in Earth Science and I am loving the unit he is studying-plate tectonics!

I hope each and every one of you has a beautiful, faith-filled day!

A Weight Lifted

2011-12-20T16:08:00.004-06:00

This morning, as I was driving down to Plymouth for my doctor's appointment, my heart was challenged.

Even though He had been giving me peace in the waiting, I hadn't yet come to a place where I could honestly surrender everything-even my health and my life-to Him. I love singing in the quiet (and privacy) of my car. As I was worshipping Him through song, I came to the realization that I couldn't call Him "Lord", if I didn't actually let Him BE my Lord, my Adonai, my Master.

This life is all about Him. It is for Him and for His glory, and truly I can now say that whatever He wills, let it be done unto me.

I am thrilled to tell you that the testing showed no cancer. Relief!

My doctor is treating me for PCOS and endometriosis-type issues simultaneously. We feel they are all related somehow, so we are trying this two-pronged approach to the issues that came up on the testing. They want me to repeat the CT scan in several weeks, and hopefully I will see whether the medications that I am on have been effective.

I'm still in pain, which, I will admit-is not so much fun. But two things help me to deal with it. The first being that at least I know where the pain is coming from-that is huge help. The second is that do have pain medication that I can take when I need to.

So, I begin this three month trial period, praying that God will continue to give my doctor insight and that He will give me wisdom to do what is healthy for my body.

I am still reading the book "The Maker's Diet" and while I don't know if I can implement everything right now, I am prepared to make a couple of changes for starters. I am going to start using coconut oil again, I am going to start drinking kefir, and I have to find someway to eat more meat and less beans and rice. Yes, I know that beans and rice are healthy, but they are still carbs...and this girl needs to cut back. (Help! What am I going to eat if I can't eat beans and rice???) Only a few changes at this point, but it's something.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for praying for me-for carrying this burden with me. I know that I needed each one of you, and I'm so glad that I wasn't alone.

I will try to post before Christmas, but if life gets busy and I don't get a chance....I wish you a love-filled, cozy, heartwarming and merry Christmas!

I pray that Your heart overflows with joy at the amazing truth that He is Emmanuel....God with us. It is (almost) unbelievable that the King of Glory would choose this earth and this life. All because He loved us desperately. So, wrap yourself in that Truth...you can't get any cozier than that!

Peace...sweet peace

2011-12-18T14:06:00.003-06:00

To think about the way that prayer works is mind-boggling.

The amount of fear that I was wrestling with before I posted last was more than I needed to be dealing with. I am so thankful that God reminded me that I am not alone...he reminded me that I had friends and family who would gladly carry this weight with me.

He reminded me how much I need others.

I have been showered with peace and patience these past few days. I will admit that there have been a couple of times that I was tempted to think about my appointment on Tuesday morning, but I am able to "shelve" those thoughts, and focus on what is right in front of me.

I just want to say THANK YOU...and let you know that your prayers have directly affected my life. God is listening, and He is answering.

My heart is filled with His very sweet peace.

Waiting

2011-12-15T12:31:00.004-06:00

I think that this period of waiting might be the most difficult I have experienced. My hands are often shaky, my heart pounds, every time I see my children and husband, I want to hold them oh-so-close.

My doctor actually moved right away on further testing. On Friday, Dec 2, I went in for xrays...for my lower back and looking at my kidneys/bladder/urinary tract. When I went to get that thing taken off my arm on Wednesday the 7th, she let me know that the xrays showed no sign of kidney stones. So, we can check that off the list. And the little thing on my arm turned out to be a fibroma...so that's all good.

Yesterday I had a pelvic ultrasound done, and bloodwork that checks for certain cancer markers. Tomorrow I have a CT scan. And I will see her either on Monday or Tuesday of next week to go over the results.

As the days have gone by, the pain has increased...and it only adds to the fear of "what if?" I often open my Bible and look at the words that are penned in the beautiful Book of Psalms.

"They do not fear bad news;

they confidently trust the Lord

to care for them."

Psalm 112:7

Now, His definition of bad news might be different from mine, but regardless of what the results if this testing show, I want to be a woman who is confidently trusting the Lord.

And so I wait.

And trust.

And, yes I fear.

But I confess my lack of trust.

And then I wait some more...

Resting in His Providence

2011-12-13T11:33:00.008-06:00

"LORD, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Therefore, my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will also rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will You let Your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand."

Psalm 16:5-11

A Quiet Moment

2011-12-08T12:27:00.004-06:00

William is putting away the clean dishes, Miles is waiting for him so he can load up the dirty dishes, MJ is switching out laundry and I have no clue what Alex and Max are up to, but I am alone in the family room, so I thought I'd take a moment to write.

The fire in the fireplace is going out, just a bright orange glow with the occasional flickering flame. But I can still hear it crackling...I love that sound! All morning long, we have been smelling the yummy aromas coming from the crockpot. The scent of the leeks is fading as the split peas grows stronger....yum! Split pea soup!

God continues to open doors into further testing for these physical issues that have been going on. I have a CT scan and pelvic ultrasound next week to look further into the flank pain. My family doctor will be setting up an appointment with a neuro-spine doctor for the chronic low back issues that I've dealt with for years. She is also thinking of sending me to a doctor at Mayo who might be able to help out with the prolapsed parts of my body. And she removed a funky looking mole and it is at the lab being biopsied. So, although I did not want the testing and all the medical bills that accompany it, Chris and I are thankful that she is hearing us and taking steps to find answers.

A friend lent me her copy of the book, "The Maker's Diet". While one cannot deny the effects that this eating lifestyle had on the author, I'm still debating whether or not this is something that I am supposed to try. I am still reading the book, and will continue praying about it. I dare not begin any venture without confirmation from the Holy Spirit that this is indeed what I am to do. So, I read and learn and pray. I'll let you know what happens!

Well, I now have three boys sitting in here with me, waiting to read the next two chapters in our read aloud book. I hope you are as cozy and comfortable in your home as I am in mine!

Transparent

2011-11-29T10:21:00.004-06:00

I have had a conflict within me whether or not to write at this time in my life.

A couple of weeks ago, I spoke with a friend about my insistence that my blog be "real" and "transparent". I want every person who reads anything I write to be able to align it with what they know about me-in no way omitting or adding anything that doesn't give one a whole picture.

On Thanksgiving Day, I was sharing with another friend about some things that I've been struggling with...and then we started talking about blogging. I realized, as were sitting there, that by not writing about the hard stuff, although it wasn't my intent at all, that I am not being transparent by "retreating" during this season.

I would never want to leave any "conversation" without it being said that God is sufficient for all my needs. And that, my friends, was the rub. I have been struggling with deep sadness and I confess, almost a hopelessness.

The month of November has been one of continual physical pain for me. I thought it was kidney stones, but my doctor doesn't believe that is the case. She wants to do more tests...colonoscopy and a scope down my stomach (oh, goodie.....NOT!) I have chronic low back pain, which reduces me, many times, to tears. The pain medication I take for that doesn't nearly deal with the pain...resulting in many sleepless nights.

She wants to delay the colonoscopy and scope (not sure why...I was really tired and confused yesterday) but gave me vicodin for the back and flank pain, so at least I could sleep. Before I took it, I seemed to vaguely remember that maybe this was the medicine that actually kept me awake, rather than allowing me the good night's sleep that my doctor was aiming for.

I remembered correctly. I was up all night.

So, this morning I woke up in a not-so-hopeful state. I know deep within me that God is good. He has a plan to shape me into the image of His Son....and I ask Him continually to do whatever it takes to change me, to make me a woman that reflects His glory. And here I am, trying to bail on His plan. Oh, me of little faith!

As I was getting the boys started on their school day, still feeling very discouraged, I started checking my emails. An email from my mom had this in the subject line..."worth taking some moments". Before I had a chance to open the email, I also decided that I needed to take the time to post on here about what's going on in my life.

We have a comfy chair right next to our bed, and it is quiet and peaceful. (well, it would be more peaceful if the bed was made. But, at least it's quiet) I sat down and opened the email and found a song that she had sent out. As I watched and listened, my eyes filled with tears. At the words, Jehovah-Shalom, the tears spilled over.

I cannot help but be reminded, as I listen to the words of this song, that it is no small thing that this same God...Almighty God...loves me.

He is bigger and more powerful than words can describe, most amazing...and yet I woke this morning "in despair". In the movie, Anne of Green Gables, Marilla tells Anne that "to despair is to turn your back on God". I agree.

There is no way that one can be face to face with our God and feel despair. As I stand in front of Him and acknowledge these names to be accurate descriptions, I am filled with many different emotions. None of them being despair.

Humility. Hope. Strength. Comfort. Servitude. Thrill. Tenderly loved. Unworthy. Grateful. Exposed. Victorious. Safe. Overwhelmed. These things I felt. But despair, no.

That is not the way of Jehovah-Shalom...God, my peace.

He is more than all that my heart will ever need. And I only need to take my eyes off myself and fix them on Him to realize that once again.

Lord, I worship You with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. Whatever You need to do to make me reflect You...please do Your work in me. I am Your little lump of clay, and I am thrilled that You even saw fit to set me on Your potter's wheel and shape me. Thank you for choosing me.

Listening

2011-11-14T15:18:00.007-06:00

Seriously, two whole weeks since I last posted? Ugh. Where has the time gone?

On the 6th of November, a friend read a portion to us from the book "1000 Gifts". In this section, Ann is sharing about TIME. And how easy it is for us to parcel bits of ourselves out to this thing and another, and miss out on the blessing of fully and wholly investing ourselves in the moment that God has given us, and the people that He has blessed us with.

Well, I am fully aware of how much I need to wrap my mind (and actions) around this concept. And yet, I have struggled with doing school this past week, simply because health issues are nagging at me, draining the energy from my physical body, and weighing heavily on my mind.

Oh, Lord, don't let me lose sight of the eternal, just because this temporal body is falling apart. I really do want to fully immerse myself in the lives of my children, but I'm so tired.

And as I am type these last words, "Great is Thy Faithfulness" by David Nevue starts playing on my computer.

"All I have needed Thy hand hath provided...great is Your faithfulness, Lord, unto me."

Deep sigh. Resting in that truth, I can breathe.

I hear what You are saying.

Thank You, Lord Jesus.

Spaghetti Squash

2011-10-31T13:05:00.003-05:00

On Saturday, I baked up three spaghetti squashes that my sweet neighbor gave to us and used them instead of pasta for the Mediterranean Chicken that I made that night. Although I've read about doing that, I've never had the foresight to cook up the squash before we had a pasta meal. But being intentional paid off...I prepped the squash, let it cool (and sit for part of the day) and when evening came, I just scraped out the strands and sauteed them in EVOO with salt, pepper and a little crushed pepper flakes, then topped it with the sauce I had made. It turned out to be a very tasty dish that earned 4 stars with my family.

Several years ago, I started asking my family to rate our meals. The scales goes from 1-5....

5 means "I LOVE this! I could eat this once a week!"

4 means "This is good...I'd eat this a couple of times a month!"

3 means "Having this dish once in a while wouldn't be so bad."

2 means "I'll finish, but only so that I can have dessert."

1 means "please don't make me eat this...I'm going to vomit"

So, while I could eat curry every week, my dear husband could not. He has given it a 3, and so I know that at least I can have it once in a while, and he knows that (thankfully) I will only serve it once in a while. We're both happy!

Today, in my attempt to save money, I am looking online at all the online grocery ads, and making lists and will be making a menu off of what is on sale. Honestly, I do not love this...but I'm praying that eventually the savings I'll see will keep my heart from dreading this weekly chore.

I'll let you know how it goes!

Breadsticks, Pumpkin Seeds, and a Great New Book!

2011-10-29T09:03:00.010-05:00

Our ISP thinks they have discovered and corrected the issues that we've been having with our internet, so hopefully I can continue posting on a daily basis for the rest of this monthly challenge.
On Wednesday, instead of purchasing garlic bread from the store, I decided I would make Parmesan Breadsticks by hand. I made them with 100% whole wheat flour, but next time I think I will use spelt flour, and maybe add a little white flour, to soften the flavor.

On Thursday, my son wanted to make Chocolate Chip Cookies (and he makes VERY good chocolate chip cookies). But, alas, we didn't have any more brown sugar, and no money with which to buy some. I suggested that he make the brown sugar, like we did growing up in South America. All you have to do is add molasses to regular sugar and mix it up real well. My son and husband, who aren't huge fans of molasses cookies, were a little dubious, but I insisted that it would be just fine! I helped him get it started, then left for choir practice. When I got home, I asked my hubby how the cookies were. He said they turned out great!!!

On Thursday, I noticed that our neighbors were carving pumpkins and I asked them if they liked to roast the seeds. She said that she wasn't going to because she was the only one in her familythat really ate them. So, I asked her if I could have them, and she very kindly shared them with me! I let them dry overnight, and then roasted them in the morning with 2 Tb. of butter, salt, pepper, cayenne and Cajun seasoning. (They can be addicting)

And now, that great book I mentioned...
My mom passed on a book to me a while ago, called "Having a Mary Spirit...allowing God to change us from the inside out" by Joanna Weaver. She also wrote "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World", and my girlfriends and I worked through that book several years ago.

I believe that the Spirit kept whispering to me to pick it up and look at it. I had recently finished reading through the Old Testament, and I was praying about where I should study next during my morning time with the Lord. I don't often use books for that purpose, but I was strongly impressed to pick it up and look at it. And when I did, I knew that He was indeed wanting to teach me something about Himself through this study. Here's a little of what I've been reading.

"I can't imagine anything more terrible than getting to the end of my life only to discover that God had so much more in mind for me-more freedom, more joy, more peace, more true effectiveness. And I had missed it all, simply because I refused to change."

"Continually striving, yet never arriving. Hoping, praying to be different, only waking up to find you're not as far along as you'd hoped to be. Sometimes feeling like you're right back where you started-again!"

"If I could just be good enough and do the right things, then I would please God. But in my heartfelt desire to serve and honor the Lord, I fell prey to the same lie that deceived the Pharisees so long ago. The lie that holiness is up to us."

"To think that Christ gave us so much only to have us experience so little brings tears to my eyes."

"Satan wants me-and he wants you!-to be so constantly preoccupied with what we're not that we never get around to realizing all that God is."

The verse that I am memorizing...

Philippians 3:12-14 "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do, forgetting what is behind and straining toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

and the song that we are learning in choir, which plays itself over and over in my heart, reaffirming what I am reading and learning in the mornings...

Day Two

2011-10-25T18:59:00.003-05:00

What did I do to save money today?

To be honest, my mind has been consumed with this ever-increasing problem of inconsistent internet service. Especially when the kids depend on it for their schoolwork, having it fail several times a day is frustrating...to say the least. One of my boys asked me why we don't sue the company...I told them that aside from the fact that we don't believe that would be a godly response, it would probably cost us a ton of money just to bring them to court.

So, can I say that I am saving money by not suing our ISP? Does that count?

Hmmm...maybe not.

Instead of making the meal that I had planned on the menu for lunch today, we cleaned out the frig. Often, with all our hungry boys, we don't even have leftovers, but this week we seemed to have an abundance. So, I feel good about doing that and now I still have a couple of boxes of mac and cheese for later on this week.

It sure pays to keep sesame oil on hand...I just dumped some EVOO, garlic, red pepper flakes and sesame oil in a pan with leftover rice, chopped green peppers and 1/2 slice of cooked bacon. I just love the flavor that sesame oil gives food! Topped with a little soy sauce, it was heavenly!

Mula-Saving Effort #1

2011-10-24T15:25:00.011-05:00

We recently started a course on finances and I am reminded, once again, that the only way that I can increase our income is to decrease our spending. And honestly, when my four growing boys would literally eat from 7:30am to 8:30pm, I am wishing that I could add money to our grocery budget...not take money away from it. But, that's not happening right now, so I challenged myself to make an intentional effort every day to do something that saves me from spending money.

Today, as I was thinking about what to make for my kids as their morning snack, I found a recipe for homemade crackers that my sister gave me. I made them, and one of my boys mentioned how good they would be with hummus.

But I only had 2 cans of garbanzo beans in the pantry, and those are for Spaghetti alla Ceci on Wednesday night. But, I did have some black-eyed peas in the pantry. Hmmm...can you make hummus with black-eyed peas? You betcha!

So, that was today's effort...Homemade Crackers and Black-Eyed Pea Hummus. Yummy!

What Does Love Look Like?

2011-10-20T07:29:00.005-05:00

Several years ago, I came across these statements that children made about love. Some make me smile and some are so very touching...

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy, age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him to make sure the taste is okay." Danny, age 7

"Love is a litte old woman and a little old man who are still friends after they know each other so well." Tommy, age 6

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann, age 4

Here is a true story told by Leo Buscaglia~

There was a four-year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing. I just helped him cry."

If you would ask me what love looks like, here are a few things that I would say...

Friends that take time out of their busy day to travel three hours, just to spend a few hours laughing, talking, praying, reminiscing with their friend who recently moved away.

Learning that your friend's most favorite book series is being continued; purchasing a copy and having it sent to her...to her great surprise and delight!

A group of people who are willing to give of their time and resources to share about the most amazing love of all...the love that is bestowed on humankind by God Almighty, when He sent His only Son to pay the most dreadful penalty for our sin.

Lord, make me a channel of Your love; let it flow through me to my husband, my children, my family, my neighbors....my world.

Counting the Cost

2011-09-26T16:52:00.004-05:00

A few weeks before we started school, I attended a webinar led by a woman who homeschools her 12 children. I so appreciated her honesty and transparency when talking about life when you are schooling several (or more) children. A few of her points were...

Motherhood is not for wimps.

In all honesty, it is often tough and difficult~doing the right thing for your child is not a guarantee that it will be easy.

Aim to do well, and to finish well. We need to persevere; we need to possess one ounce more stubbornness than our children.

This is not just an "educational option. It is a lifestyle. It is necessary to understand that life will be different.

*****************************************************

As I listened to what Barbara was sharing that day, I thought that I was well-prepared for what lay ahead. After all, I was a homeschooling mom before we sent our children to private school for three years. I knew what I was getting into.

Wrong.

Can I be (painfully) transparent and honest? Last time the children were home-educated, I did school with them every day. Unless the house was messy. Or I had a migraine. Or the phone kept ringing and I kept answering. Maybe it was Bible study. Or maybe I was just tired.

I simply was not a disciplined person. The whole concept of doing what I said I would do was a bit fuzzy for me. For the longest time, I did not even recognize it as a sin issue in my life.

Until one day, the Lord decided that it was time to address that in me. No more of doing what I "felt" like doing...it was time to grow up and do that which He asked of me. Every time. Not just when it was convenient, comfortable or easy.

And so it began. The Holy Spirit prompting me to be faithful, making me aware that I was choosing, or not choosing, to use self-discipline. Sometimes I listened and obeyed. Sometimes, I didn't. I cannot begin to tell you how precious to me is the truth that "The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day!" Lamentations 3:22-23

As weeks and months went by, I slowly learned that although following through and being self-disciplined was sometimes really hard, the peace that accompanied it was well worth it!

Shortly after the Lord brought the self-discipline issue to mind, we sent the children to a private school. But that didn't suddenly free me from the need to practice self-discpline. I was just able to apply it to different areas of my life. Like...making supper, keeping my desk clean or serving in church. I was learning to make decisions based on what I knew to be true, and what I knew to be right....rather than making decisions based on what "felt" good or right.

Fast forward a few years.....

We found out that we would be moving and were sensing that God wanted us to have the children home. I felt okay with this, since we had applied for an online school and were fairly confident that we would get in. This schooling was perfect for us...the children would be home with me, it provided teachers to help my kids, and it was FREE!

And then the day came that we found out that the children didn't get into the school. I was shocked and scared spitless. We still knew that they were supposed to be home with us. God was once again asking us to home-educate the children. My reaction to Him was "You're not serious, are You??? Don't You remember what it was like last time?" and "How are we going to pay for curriculum?"

But, as He promises, He gave us the peace to start planning to educate the children at home. I was actually becoming excited, and trusted that what He calls us to do, He will provide for.

About a month or so after we had moved, we found out that the children HAD been accepted into the virtual school where we had originally applied . I cannot tell you the relief I felt, knowing that the children would be getting a great education, and they would be home with me, where we could learn and grow together in the Lord.

I threw myself into learning what I could about this new system of learning, and preparing us for the days ahead. I knew that I would absolutely have to depend on Him to work through me, and give me the strength I needed to do this. I also knew that, while He was absolutely ready to work through me, I would still have to exercise self-discipline, which doesn't always come easily. It was tempting to look ahead and despair, or focus on fear of failure, but He reminded me that I needed to take one day at a time, and focus only on what is right before me.

And so I that's what I am doing. Day after day, my focus is on one thing~the responsibility that I have to teach my children. The two older children interact mostly with their teachers, but I teach the three younger boys. I am juggling predicate nominatives with linking verbs, prime factorizations with exponents, Sumerian history with Native Americans and watersheds with classifying organisms. There are times that I see the lightbulb go on right away, and there are times that...well, that doesn't quite happen. My brain is usually exhausted at the end of the day, but there is also the amazement in knowing that God taught me something in order to teach my boys.

When I started our school year, I didn't realize:

that I wouldn't have time to lurk on Facebook

that calling my friends and family is something that happens only on weekends

the floor wouldn't get mopped as often as I'd like

there would be many days that time runs out before I get my afternoon walk

my brain would be taxed by the end of the day

my throat would hurt from constant use all day long

But I was reminded....

how perfectly lovely it is to look around the room and see all your children leaning over schoolwork, concentrating so hard on what they are doing

that God would use my children to remind me how much they need a meek and gentle learning guide

how much fun it is to hear my child say they love school

that saying no to Facebook meant the thrill of learning along with my child

of how amazing my kids are!

that laughing with them is SO MUCH FUN!

that time passes so quickly, and I need to make the most of every opportunity

that while I miss talking with my friends, I deeply and desperately love my children

how can I say I love my kids enough to give my life for them, and yet be unwilling to give up a lunch date, or phone call, or a quiet house?

Things are different this time. I am faithfully doing school with the kids, even when there are a multitude of other things I could be doing. It is amazing to experience, because I know that He is doing this through me. I know that I could never do this in my own strength. He is teaching me that while this particular school is "free", there is a cost to home-educating my children. My time isn't my own (not that it ever was, but I started to think like that). I miss talking with my friends like I used to. I have to get up at 5:00am in order to enjoy a quiet house. Leisure time (with the exception of today...my birthday gift from my husband) is something that happens only on weekends.

But I'm still getting an amazing deal!

~I get to watch these precious children grow up

~I get to "live life" with five wonderful kids

~the peace that I have in the midst of these crazy days is truly "out of this world"

~the sheer pleasure in demonstrating my love for the Lord by obeying this simple and, in the great scheme of things, very short assignment that He has given me.

I have learned that there is a cost for this lifestyle.

And I would be a fool to not sacrifice everything I have to pay it.

**********************************

CHURCH

2011-08-29T11:25:00.005-05:00

I have been thinking a lot about "church" and what that means to me. I think it has been on my mind more than normal because of the fact that we are moving out of one local church and moving into another. And with every thought comes a particular memory of Pastor Mark. He is a man who loves to see God's people being the church that God intends us to be.

It was a Sunday morning. Chris dropped the children and me off at the front doors and went to find a parking spot. We all went in and then the children scattered...off to their Sunday school classes. As I was milling through the crowd of people in the lobby, I thought I heard a voice calling me. I turned around but didn't see anyone, so continued on my way to the sanctuary. I heard it again, so I turned around. This time I saw our friend, Bob. He called me over to where he was sitting. As I approached him, I saw that his eyes were teary and his face sad. He said to me, "Pastor Mark is here-I thought you might want to say hi to him."

Sitting at the next table was Mark...he was sitting there with his wife, Jeanie. They were surrounded by people who loved them, who wanted an opportunity to tell them so, to let them know that they were being prayed for. I was one of those people.

I waited until it was my turn, then I gave him a hug. He looked tired and thin. His body looked weary. I couldn't help but cry as I hugged him. It seemed so desperately unfair that this dear man should be inflicted with such a horrible, painful cancer. It was hard to grasp what the cancer was so quickly doing to his body.

I told him that we loved him. I told him that we were praying for him and his family. I stood up and continued talking to him, listening to his heart. I knew that other people were wanting to greet him, and I knew that Chris would be waiting for me in the sanctuary. So I told him that I was so thankful that I had the chance to talk with him, and I told him that I hated to go into church, that I just wanted to sit with Jeanie and him. And what he said next, I will never forget.

He was still sitting there, looking up at me, holding my hands, quiet tears sliding down his face and he said in a broken voice, "This...this IS church."

And he was right. A room full of people, wanting to share in the burdens of a brother and sister in Christ. Praying together, crying, moments of laughter, all the time giving glory to God. We didn't know what His plan was, but we trusted Him to bring something beautiful out of something painful. Jeanie told me a few minutes later, "God has taught us to serve Him and to live for Him. Now He is teaching us to die for Him."

That was the last time that I spoke with Mark. Less than two weeks later, four weeks after he was diagnosed with cancer, he went to be with Jesus. In those moments, my heart took a snapshot of what the Body of Christ looks like when it is living life together. I treasure that picture, I keep it close.

And I embrace that idea of living life together.
Sharing the ups and downs, good and bad times, laughing, crying, praying together.
Being transparent with one another.

But I am realizing that this is much easier said than done. I want to to this, I truly do. But in our case, in a new town and new local church, it means starting over. And, ugh....it's not so easy.

Yesterday, the church we would like to attend for a while was having its annual church picnic and baptism service. I was looking forward to meeting new people and for the children to start making new friends. I don't know if the migraine was purely physical, or if it was a spiritual attack to try to discourage me, but shortly after I witnessed my two sons being baptized, I was in pain and feeling sick. I could barely handle sitting upright, let alone trying to converse with people. I ended up in laying down in the van while Chris let the boys finish swimming, and then we headed home.

This morning, I still have a lingering migraine, but more than that, disappointment. Even though meeting new people is nerve-wracking for me, I wanted to take every opportunity that I had to reach out to people~to be a blessing. And I didn't get to talk to anyone.

I have the picture of that Sunday with Mark in my head and in my heart. I know what I am looking for, and I know that God has it for us somewhere. I want to be IN the picture again, not simply holding it and looking at it longingly.

I can't remember where I heard this...it was either Chip Ingraham or Pastor Mark...but one of them was teaching on Romans 12:5

"...so it is with Christ's body. We are all parts of His one body, and each of us has different work to do. And since we are all one body in Christ, we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others."

I know that there is a local body that I need. I know there is a place for me to serve. I know it because Christ says it, and I know it because I have the Holy Spirit aching for it inside of me.

We have been invited to try out a Life Group here, and I am excited to do so. I know that God created in me a need to connect with and serve the rest of His body. I am so thankful for the many years of sitting under Mark's teaching...his passionate commitment to the Body of Christ has taught me to not accept anything less than what God intended.

Lord, please show us the spot that you have carved out for us here in this city. Give us the patience to persevere in relationships and the courage to serve wherever you ask. Let us be part of a church that wholeheartedly follows after You, loves one another and reaches out to the world around us.

Stuffing

2011-07-29T14:36:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I was so very emotional...and today, as I was leaving the mall after dropping off four teenagers, it dawned on me.

I have been stuffing.

Stuffing confusion, frustration, loneliness, sadness, joy, thankfulness...this past month there has been so much going on in our life. And I haven't really taken the time to let it out.

So, here goes...

I miss Sheboygan so very much. It's not that I'm not grateful for what God has given us here. It's just that I miss home.

I LOVE our new house. It actually feels like HOME. The space is wonderful. I cannot wait to light a fire in the fireplace. It gives me such joy to watch my children play in the backyard. I have beautiful plants all around the outside of the house (that I really hope I don't kill).

I miss my sisters. I miss stopping by their workplaces for a quick "hello". I ache to be in their homes, enjoying their company. I miss sitting face to face with them, talking and laughing (and occasionally bursting into song!)

We've been visiting different churches, and asking God to lead us to the specific body that He has planned for us. I am weary of visiting churches. I am so sad that I am not there to watch my "heart and soul" friend enter a new sphere of ministry with her husband. I wish desperately that I could be there for them at this time of change. I will confess that I am anxious to be settled...to know where God wants us so we can just commit!

I am thrilled about the children being able to do this charter school. And I am overwhelmed. How in the world am I going to find the time in my day to teach three children, guide the other two, plus keep up with "making" my home? Selfishly, I am scared spitless about giving up any personal free time. Will I ever scrapbook again? Will I have time to play the piano? Will I get any housecleaning done? Where do I find the support and connection with other families that I believe we need? Lord, give me a heart of trust for Your perfect provision.

A friend recommended a chiropractor that she goes to church with...I am so thankful for that recommendation. It is a scary thing to me ~changing doctors, and to have found a chiro. in the area our first week here was, I believe, a gift from God. Now to find an orthopedist to examine my broken elbow and tell me if the increasing pain is normal or not.

I cannot tell you how many times a day I thank God for the neighborhood He carefully placed us into. The ladies across the street are both sisters in Christ. Truly, I am blessed. In my heart, I want to start building relationships, but to be frank, I don't know if I will have the time. Isn't that a horrible thing to think? I know that God created me for relationship, but with this school year looming on the horizon, I don't know how to balance friendship with our specific family life. Lord, please give me wisdom!

Little things...

I am thankful for the knife sharpener that I found...seriously. I have really come to enjoy cooking, but only when my knives are sharp!

I am thankful that Chris' office is only a few minutes away. The boys and I have have brought him lunch several times.

If you know me at all, you're not gonna believe this, but....I actually got in the swimming pool a couple of times. (I was terrified when my head went under and I could hear that underwater sound that completely freaks me out, but other than that...I might just eventually conquer my fear of water!)

I have started using coupons and I am having a ball! It takes me longer to do my shopping, b/c I am hitting a few different stores, and things are a little more spread out here, but it is so much fun. I love figuring out how much I saved. And don't worry...I don't use coupons for things that we don't normally get! : )

I am still waiting for a hummingbird to visit our feeder. That would make my heart oh-so-happy!

I bought my first autumn decoration today. It was on clearance at Scheele's...and I just LOVE autumn...

*sigh*

I feel better...sometimes it is good to just get it out there. It didn't come out pretty, but at least it's out!

Thanks for helping me "unstuff"!

Seasons of Friendship

2011-06-19T14:35:00.001-05:00

When we first moved to Sheboygan, 16 years ago, we were in a winter season of life. A desire for relationships lay dormant within us. The branches of our life were barren. Life, by our choice, was not particularly filled with sun and warmth.

But deep inside, we were "wick". (According to what's-his-name in The Secret Garden...that's the Yorkshire way of saying there is still life at the core). God knew that. And He knew exactly the atmosphere and the pruning that were needed for our growth and healthy development.

After a few years, in the care and keeping of the Body of Christ, spring arrived. Friendships and ministry began budding in our lives. The hope and vision of warmer days was here! We began to truly invest in the friendships that God had given us. We wanted to serve Him in whatever way He chose.

Soon, spring turned into summer. Enjoying those beautiful relationships. Giving and taking. Living life together. Praying. Crying. Laughing. Digging into God's Word. Encouraging. Counseling. Serving. Listening and learning from godly mentors. Persevering.

Life was like a summer picnic~sweet watermelon and corn on the cob, yummy potato salad (for me...without the onions), sitting on a blanket in the grass down by North Point, with a beautiful blue sky overhead. Friends laughing and talking. A few pesky flies and ants, maybe the threat of a rain cloud. And probably a few worries about the kids falling into the lake.

But it was from God, and it was good. We had friends and a church family that we were committed to, and that were committed to us. We had sweet times of fellowship. Yes, there were the difficulties to deal with-life is not perfect, after all. But knowing and trusting that God wouldn't give us what we couldn't handle was deeply assuring. I loved my life.

And then the winds of change began to blow.

When the air first starts getting brisk, there are times that I get excited about the upcoming "hunker-down and get cozy" season. I love wearing sweaters and drinking hot cocoa. I love "snow globe" snowfalls. The scheduled routine of the school year gets me excited. And then, there are the moments when I remember what a pain the upcoming season can be. Scraping snow off the car...all the back breaking work of shoveling...filling the gas tank in frigid weather~and I get an "ugh" feeling in the pit of my stomach (especially as I get older).

Several months ago, that's where I was. I had times that I was excited about the upcoming changes in our life. And then, moments of dread as I realized that we would be leaving the warmth of our life here. The "picnic lunch" with our dear ones.

But here I am. Last night, in a room filled with beautiful people and the love of Christ, I realize that my heart is going through the last days of autumn. Every person in my life is like a beautiful autumn leaf. And with every hug I gave, and every goodbye I said, I felt like the leaves were slowly falling off my tree. My heart aches, but as I ponder the change in my season of friendships, I know that this is part of His plan. And I have decided that I am going to start a "leaf" collection. I will treasure each and every precious, beautiful person that God has put into my life. For truly, my life is most definitely richer because of each of them!

Winter will soon be here. A time when life will change for me. Scraping all the superficial off of new relationships...doing the work (which, I'll be honest, is often difficult for me) of opening myself up to new friends. Probably some bitter cold, lonely winds.

I don't know what the future holds. I am not sure how He wants us to serve Him. I am, however, praying that this "winter season" of my life is shorter than our winter seasons here in Wisconsin. I love green, leafy trees. I love looking up into the sky and seeing them reaching toward the heavens.... But regardless of how long this season lasts, I know that He is the Creator, the Sustainer, the Gardener....and I will trust Him and His perfect seasons for me.

Trusting in His Holiness

2011-06-05T14:34:00.002-05:00

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsiDukXIeVY]

Over the course of these past couple of weeks, my heart has been so sad.

There has been the declining health of our friend and pastor (who I wrote about last week). In the early morning hours of June 4th, Mark passed through the thin veil that separates us from eternity. He is now in the presence of our Lord, and we are left with a hole in our church family that Mark filled so wonderfully. There is a hole in his family that breaks my heart to imagine. It is beyond my mind's grasp right now to think how life will be for them without him.

I also am looking at our last few weeks here in this city that we love and call home. Saying goodbye and making plans to leave happen on a daily basis now. I cannot pretend any longer that we are not moving.

I really don't have much to say, but to share this song that is a source of comfort to me right now. I do not understand all that is going on in our life and the life of our church body, but I do know that "He who is worthy" is on His throne. All that is happening is a part of His Holy plan. And when I rest in that truth, my heart is at peace.

When you love deeply, you hurt deeply..

2011-05-31T14:33:00.003-05:00

About 10 years ago, God brought five different women together. What we had in common
was the pursuit of godly womanhood~as wives, mothers, daughters and friends.

The first book we read together was The Excellent Wife, followed by A Woman after God's Own Heart and Beautiful in God's Eyes. As we read, answered questions, and discussed how God was convicting and teaching us, He knit our hearts together and made us sisters. Not by blood, but most definitely, sisters of the heart.

As time went on, there were changes. God led one of us into friendships and ministry with other women. We continued growing in our walk with God and in our friendships with one another. We pursued different topics of study as God led, and He allowed us to confess, heal and change in the circle of trust that He had gifted us with.

A few years ago, another dear friend moved far away, to serve God with her husband. While we can understand that God calls us to obedience, it does not completely alleviate the pain of saying "goodbye".

This time, it is me that is leaving. And it hurts. Tomorrow will be the last time that the (now) three of us will be getting together.

Eating Chinese food. Laughing (I hope). Crying. Praying.

Lord, I don't even know how to thank you. You have given me so many friends. And not just my "sisterchicks"....my life is filled with amazing women!

I just want to write about them tonight as I anticipate our time together tomorrow. "Goodbye" hurts so much.

I know that Appleton isn't that far away.

I know that we will have eternity.

I know that there is Facebook.

I know that there is skype and email.

But it still hurts.

Lord, please look into my heart and understand that although the tears flow, so does my gratitude.

Thank you!

You have blessed me, and my soul knows it well.

Psalm 116

2011-05-28T14:32:00.001-05:00

I love the LORD because He hears and answers my prayers.

Because He bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I have breath!

Death had its hands around my throat; the terrors of the grave overtook me.

I saw only trouble and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of the LORD;

"Please, LORD, save me!"

How kind the LORD is! How kind He is!

So merciful, this God of ours!

The LORD protects those of childlike faith;

I was facing death, and then He saved me.

Now I can rest again, for the LORD has been good to me.

He has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.

And so I walk in the LORD's presence as I live here on earth!

I believed in You, so I prayed,

"I am deeply troubled, LORD"

In my anxiety I cried out to you,

"These people are all liars!"

What can I offer the LORD for all He has done for me?

I will lift up a cup symbolizing His salvation;

I will praise the LORD'S name for saving me.

I will keep my promise to the LORD in the presence of His people.

The LORD'S loved ones are precious to Him;

it grieves Him when they die.

O LORD, I am Your servant; yes, I am Your servant, the son of Your handmaid,

and You have freed me from my bonds!

I will offer You a sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the LORD.

I will keep my promises to the LORD in the presence of His people,

in the house of the LORD, in the heart of Jerusalem.

Lord, I ask that You bring healing to Pastor Mark's body....for the glory of Your name.

In the quiet...

2011-05-27T14:30:00.001-05:00

As I was walking along the lakefront last week, my heart was overflowing with thoughts and emotions as I thought about my recent class reunion. I desperately wanted to go home and write, but there was a part of me that was afraid.

I wanted to do justice to the whole experience, and I was afraid I couldn't. Most of the time my words are short and to-the-point. I am not very descriptive and most certainly not a good story teller! While I can feel something so deeply, I often have a hard time expressing it in words. I have friends that blog who use incredibly inspiring, encouraging and even convicting words in the most beautiful way. They make me see the Lord in a way that I haven't before, and that makes me yearn to be more like Him.

(Sigh...)

I have realized two things since that day. The first was that I must simply be myself. I need not wait until I have something that I think is "profound" enough to share, something that I think is inspiring or encouraging. As I write, I hope you will see Him in my daily life. In the short, to-the-point descriptions that I so often use. And somehow, I pray, that because He is in it, the ordinary becomes not-so-ordinary.

The second thing I have come to realize is...I must slow down. Sometimes I am moving and thinking so fast that the actions and words are a mere reaction to life around me, rather than a genuine response to what God is doing deep inside me.

Slowing down and taking the time to hear my heart responding to God in the ordinary, daily stuff of life...

My heart overflows with gratitude. My soul is at rest. He is God. And He is good.

2011-05-20T14:29:00.001-05:00

My last post was about the fact that we had just found out that I would most likely be homeschooling the children for the 2011-2012 school year. I was in a bit (okay, maybe more than a bit) of shock and dismay.

I have prayed much (and in all honesty, worried much. Just being honest here) and I think that He has given me a plan.

Following the advice of a friend, I looked up what the graduation requirements are in our new school district. From there, I worked backwards to figure out the subjects that my children (specifically my daughter, who will be a junior in high school) would need before graduation.

I searched the internet for curriculum that I think fits my teaching style plus my children's five different learning styles....and I actually found a couple of possiblities. I am familiar with one of the companies, as it is what I used when I homeschooled the children several years ago. I went back and forth between the two, because I really like them both, but wasn't sure which would be a better fit.

In the end, I decided to use both. (of course, I am going to be praying about this over the summer. I am open to change if God so leads.) My two oldest will use Sonlight's Core 100 together, which includes all subjects but Science. They will be doing Earth Science together, and (lucky them!) Civics. The three youngest will be using "Adventures in the Sea and Sky", from Winterpromise.

I am waiting until fall to order anything, just in case the state opens up enrollment to all the two thousand and some students that are on the waiting list, and my kids can attend the charter school!

In the meantime, I am waiting on God. To give assurance of this plan for our family. To provide the means to purchase what we need. To grow me in this area of my faith.

I'll let you know what happens!

2011-05-17T22:47:00.001-05:00

Well, this isn't even the post that has been on my heart to share, but it's more physical in nature than emotional, so pretty much short and to the point. Can I just say "OUCH!" ????? Let me back up a little...

I have struggled to maintain a healthy weight once I started having babies. But about 5 or so years ago, we got a YMCA membership and I faithfully worked out and started the South Beach Diet. After a couple of years, I was finally at a good weight! I was maintaining my weight by walking (along the lakefront which is GREAT!)and because we needed the money more than the elliptical machine at the Y~we cancelled our membership. And then...a series of major medical issues have plagued me... pretty much once a year, for the past three years, I have been laid up in bed for 2-10 weeks. And have gained about 10 pounds within the first two weeks of each event. Yikes! And in spite of walking most days, and eating a pretty healthy diet, I have not managed to lose anything. I have been so discouraged. Which brings me to the present...I just saw my doctor yesterday. She reminded me of two things.
#1 I am getting older...the weight isn't going to come off as easily as it did last time.
#2 You can't do the same thing and expect different results. She suggested that I add ankle weights to my morning walks. Which I discovered this morning really does make a difference! OUCH!
I also decided to make changes in two more areas. The first, I am going to lessen the portion size of my grains (I only eat brown rice and corn...normally I steer clear of any gluten-type products) and instead of doing weight resistance exercised with my cans of black beans and orange stretchy thing...I am going to use the "new to us" exercise machine that God gifted us with yesterday. We recently decided that we were going to purchase one eventually, when we had the money. Instead of having us pay $300, God led us to one that cost us $40!!!!! I'm so excited!

My Faith vs. my Frailty

2011-05-15T14:27:00.001-05:00

For the past several months, as we've been anticipating a move to another city, we believe that God planted in our path the opportunity to school the children using an online virtual academy.

I homeschooled for the first several years, until our oldest was in seventh grade, but as the children's studies got harder, it became more and more difficult to explain in a way that they understood the lesson. I struggled more and more with keeping to a schedule, keeping the house in order, and generally being a "joyful mother of children". After much prayer, we felt God freeing us to send the children to a small private school.

We sent the older two to school the first year, and I tried to continue homeschooling the younger two. This I learned from that year~it is very hard to send children to school, homeschool the younger ones, and then do homework with the older children all evening long. That was a very difficult year for me.

The following year we sent the younger boys to the same school. The children have learned much in that environment, and I am so thankful for the teachers that my children had. But the children were getting to the point that they wanted to be home with me, and I didn't feel the freedom to look for another private school when we move.

So, the whole idea of a charter school really appealed to me. I could have the children home with me, which I really love, and honestly, I see the need for a little more one on one time with my kiddos. And the children would have their own teachers to help them those difficult questions that come up.

We applied for open enrollment, and on April 8th, we received a letter from the state of Wisconsin that the children had been conditionally approved, based on how many children had applied. I believed that God provided this option for us, and I didn't think I needed to try to plan for anything else. I figured if it wasn't His plan, He would help me cross that bridge at that point.

Well, we are crossing that bridge. The children are on a waiting list, but not accepted into the charter school system. I feel like the rug was pulled out from under me....or a building dropped on my head. I know I shouldn't be so surprised, I knew this was a possibility, but I guess I never really entertained the thought.

My first reaction was disbelief. I couldn't believe that God was asking me to do something that I feel I failed at so miserably at the first time. I cried myself~really, I sobbed myself~ to sleep last night. This morning I woke up with a hint of peace and excitement that maybe God actually knew what He was doing. (well, of course, He does, but I had to admit that to Him)I have to take this one day at a time...trusting that He will lead me to the curriculum that will work best for our family. I have to trust that He is bigger than my small mind and stronger than my weakness. That He has a plan for us, and that His plan is good.

2011-05-01T18:45:00.004-05:00

Growing up as an MK in South America, we would frequently sleep outdoors, many times down by the river. For fun. Without a tent, tarp, or anything other than our sleeping bags and whatever we needed to make breakfast in the a.m. (and yes, this WAS fun!)

One thing that I still remember from those sleep-outs is the way the air feels in the morning. The sky is gray and quiet, the only sounds are the flowing river and chirping birds. Everything feels damp. And everything feels chilly.

The first person up starts the fire. Slowly, but surely, a flame is coaxed out of the twigs, leaves and bits of wood we've collected. Soon enough, the delicious smell of smoke is filling the air, the crackling fire begins to warm up the little circle of people huddled around it. Comfort.

I think now of another early morning. I imagine the sky is gray and quiet. This time, I am on a lakeshore. I hear the lapping of water against the gravelly sand of the beach. The scent of smoke scents the damp, morning air. My eyes are drawn to the dancing flames of a small, crackling fire and in the dim first light of day, I see Him.

He's kneeling there, His hands cupped to catch the warmth. Comfort.

He looks up. Our eyes meet. In that instant, I know.

He knows...everything. Absolutely everything.

His gaze pierces my soul. It hurts.

Tears fill my eyes. I feel like my heart is going to burst.

What I see in His eyes is not condemnation, but love.

His eyes are filled with love...for me.

Wonder of all wonders.

The One who has absolutely every right to condemn me chooses instead to love me.

"Do you love me?" He says.

"Yes, Lord," I reply, "I love you."

As I've spent time considering Peter over these past few weeks, I have so often put myself in his shoes, feeling the burden of knowing the ways in which I've betrayed the One who shed His blood for me. Oh, the guilt!

And then, I turn my eyes upon Jesus, and I look full in His wonderful face. And indeed, everything fades away but the the overwhelming power of His beautiful, glorious, marvelous, amazing grace.

I don't want to take His precious blood for granted. I want to look at Him and see my sin for what it is. Every single time I sin...I trod carelessly over His spilt blood.

Precious Jesus, please forgive me. Make me ever aware of Your sacrifice. And although, I don't deserve it~most definitely not~I am incredibly and forever grateful that You choose to look at me with eyes of love. I want that love to change me, to make me a woman that loves and follows you. Wherever you may lead. I know that there will be trials, hard moments and painful moments. In those times, there is a special place in my spirit where I will go. It will be early morning, the air damp and chilly. I will be walking near the water's edge, and I will catch the comforting scent of burning wood. I look up and a short way off, there is a small, crackling fire. My heart skips a beat...I look for You, and when our eyes meet...You smile.

Ninety-One

2011-03-31T09:34:00.002-05:00

That's how many more days we have until we officially move to Appleton. There is a part of me that is excited, because that will mean no more commuting for Chris. But it also means having to say goodbye. (Ugh)
BUT....I am going to treasure every moment between now and then, and gather as many precious memories as I can!

2011-03-28T12:51:00.001-05:00

I recently read a devotional that addresses the way that we can sometimes put God in a box. About wanting Him to order things in a way that WE feel would bring God the most glory, rather than letting Him work as He sees best.
My heart was convicted. I have been doing that with this move. As I have prayed for God to work out the details of finding a house to rent, and renting out our home, I have imagined that God would be most glorified by selling our house. But really, I don't know what would bring Him glory. I can't see the big picture. Even if it means not selling our house, or if it means not finding someone to rent our home....it's okay. Lord, whatever will bring You glory, please do that through us. Please do whatever You think is best.

He knows what I need

2011-03-15T08:40:00.001-05:00

It's early.
I have a cup of coffee sitting next to me.
One of the dogs is curled up in her kennel. The other dog is chewing voraciously on her rawhide. This is one time of day that I let her have one-so that she will stay with me and not wander off and get into trouble.
I am curled up in the chair in the living room.
I take 3 books out the little leather basket that was a Christmas present from my husband-for the purpose of holding these items.
The first book is a little devotional/journal. Every morning, I open to that day's date and I read a short verse and a devotional by some man or woman of faith. And I journal briefly about that particular subject. Which, up to this point, has never failed to open my eyes to some aspect of my life in relation to God.
The next thing I do is open my journal. I guess it's more of a prayer journal, as it is 98% filled with conversations with the Lord. Some of my thoughts this morning were...
~I still struggle with shame over days where I was absolutely not following in the footsteps of my Saviour.
~Why do I still struggle to trust One who has proven Himself to be absolutely trustworthy?
~I need Your help as I create a budget for this coming year. What do you want me to do with Your resources?
~Lord, what should I do about the backyard/garbage area? Clean it today? Wait until tomorrow when the garbage has been taken and the snow will have melted a bit more?
~I haven't been sleeping well. Is it because of my aching arm, or the fact that Chris isn't here? I will trust that You will give me what I need.
~I miss Chris.
~What is it going to be like to live in a new city? I don't know that I am ready for that. I love where we are now.

And then, my favorite part of the day. (it actually makes me teary thinking of how much I love this) I place my Bible on my lap. The outside is purple and green, the inside has wide margins. It was a gift from a friend who knows how much I love taking notes in my Bible. One corner is chewed up (by the same dog who now gets a "chewie" (rawhide) every morning). I reach for the little purple bookmark and slowly open it to the Psalms. Every day, part of my quiet time is reading a Psalm and Proverb. And my heart is excited and anticipating what God has prepared for me on this day.

I read in Psalm 73, verses 21-28
"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered; I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before You. Yet I am always with You; You hold me by my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel, and afterward You take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing that I desire besides You. My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Those who are far from You will perish; You destroy all who are unfaithful to You. But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all Your deeds."

My heart wells up inside of me..."but as for me, it is good to be near God." What a privelege. Thank you, thank you, thank you that You are keeping me close. Keep me on a short leash, hold my hand, don't let it go. I am not trustworthy. But You Lord, You are. How can I ever doubt? You are amazing. I will tell others about the things You do for me.

I proceed to the book of Proverbs, and I am reminded that "better a little with the fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil" (15:16) and...
"better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred."
(15:17)

You, Lord, call me to one thing, to seek first Your kingdom. To love you with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. And from there, You will provide. What You give us to manage, You give us to serve You. Let that knowledge guide me as I work on our budget today.

You, O Lord, are amazing. You know exactly what my heart needs, when it needs it. I don't understand it. But I love it. I am so thankful for it.

Dream House

2011-03-04T14:03:00.001-06:00

Can I just share with you about this little piece of paper that I've been carrying around in my day planner for several months?
On this piece of paper, I jotted down (and drew little pictures, of course!) all the things that I would love to have in a home. I guess I just figured that I might as well write down the things that I dream of and then commit my "wish list" to the Lord, knowing that He knows what we need, and trusting that if He didn't give me something on my wish list, it was for a very good reason.

Here's my list:

~large, fenced in back yard with trees and space for a vegetable garden...I love fresh veggies for salsa
~front yard with white picket fence, some kind of wild looking flower growing
~attached garage
~woodwork throughout the house
~front porch with a porch swing
~a bay window where I can display my Christmas village in the winter
~entryway closet with space for lots of coats and shoes
~fireplace
~laundry chute
~four bedrooms
~hard wood floors
~staircase with bannister (you know, so I can decorate it at Christmas time...)
~finished basement (have I mentioned that I have four very active boys?)
~2 bathrooms
~dining room big enough for our table (8 feet long)
~kitchen with windows, light and counterspace
~old fashioned attic
~central air (we've got kids with asthma, so that one's pretty much a necessity)
~hot water heat
~large living room with built in bookshelves
~a guest room/office/library
~a place where I can set up my scrapbooking without having to take it down for dinnertime
~laundry area that's warm, and nice area to fold clothing, ironing, etc

That is the list that I have been carrying around with me. I can't post pictures right now, because our landlord still lives there and I want to respect their privacy, but can I tell you a little about our house?

It has an attached two car garage and nice driveway where we can put up the basketball hoop.
The front porch is small, but there is space to put in a swing.
There is a beautiful tree in our front yard.
When you walk into the house, there is a very large coat closet in a hallway that leads to the eating area of the kitchen.
The living room is to the right~we will use that for my piano, all of our bookshelves and books...our library/living room. And a bay window for all my St Nicholas village collection.
The dining room is off the living room, and the perfect size for our dining room table...
and have I mentioned that all the floors downstairs are a wood laminate?
The kitchen has a window over the sink, so now for the first time ever, I can wash dishes while watching my children play in the back yard (and now I'll know "what really happened") There are deep pantry shelves, a separate area for another table, a huge window overlooking the back yard...and a laundry chute.
From the kitchen you enter our family room, which because of the large size and the warm carpeted floor will also double as my office/scrapbook nook and a guest room. This room has a fireplace and built in bookshelves.
Between the kitchen and the family room is the half bath (hallelujah! two toilets!)
Down in the basement is a huge room which is paneled and ready to turn into a space for legos/playmobil/Wii/fusbol...and all the other things the boys love to do!
Chris has a huge workspace at one end, and there is a little laundry area set up at the other (for me, of course)
If you go upstairs, you will find lovely carpet all throughout. (this was on my husband's wish list) A linen closet in the hallway (never had one of those before) and four bedrooms, all with large closets. The bathroom has a large sink and an entire wall of shelving in the outer room, and a little sink, toilet and shower in the inner room...and the laundry chute!
The back yard is large (well, certainly compared to our tiny one right now) with a beautiful birch tree on one side, and some evergreens lining the back of the lot. We were told right away that we could plant a garden, if we liked that kind of thing...are you smiling?

I hope that as you've compared my list to the home that I just described, you are standing in amazement and awe of God's goodness. We are overwhelmed and overjoyed at His provision. We have committed ourselves and this home to Him...it is not ours, He is asking us to take care of it and share it...and I cannot wait to do just that. In fact, we already have two dear familes lined up to come and spend weekends with us....maybe we can add you to the calendar?

Thanks for letting me share...I am excited, and I look forward to posting pictures when the time is right!

Yours, not mine...

2011-03-03T10:19:00.002-06:00

Oh Lord, the days are so long now that Chris is commuting. I miss him...really miss him.
A couple of weeks ago, I was studying the chapter from Beautiful in God's Eyes where it talks about our husbands being yours, not ours. I need Your help to let go of my selfish desires and wants.
For so long, I was able to speak to him at almost any time of day, and usually have lunch with him. I don't think I really understood what a precious gift that was from You to us.
And now, his days are filled with the demands and responsibilities that come with managing an entire office and many different people. I know that he loves it, I know that you have gifted him to do this, and you have called him to this job.
I want to be his greatest cheerleader, a source of comfort in this busy and demanding world, but I need You to help me. Right now, I want him to take me in his arms and hold me and tell me "everything will be all right"..."this is just a season"..."it won't be like this forever".
But I sense You asking me to go to You for that comfort, enabling me to be a blessing to my husband, letting Your love flow through me to him.
Lord, during this time when everything is new for him, and he has to deal with a 3 hour commute everyday, help me to see life through his eyes, and let me be the one to hold him and tell him "thank you for doing this for our family"..."this is just a season"..."it won't be like this forever". Lord, use my husband for whatever purpose You created him for...for Your honor and Your glory...let me love him the way You do. Keep me reminding me that he is Yours, not mine. (but I thank You with all that is in me for letting me live life with this man....he is the dearest thing on earth to me!)

2011-02-11T06:11:00.001-06:00

If you already saw this post on Facebook, just ignore it. I figure I better post it, because it needs to be a part of my story here. Otherwise, (if I actually continue to blog), my life won't make much sense!

In the middle of December, Chris was encouraged to apply for his boss's job-Regional Manager for Appleton. He ended up doing that, and for the past several weeks we have been moving from one phase of the application process to another, slowly (sometimes agonizingly) moving toward the goal. A few weeks ago, we found out that the Eau Claire area also needed a regional manager, and Chris was asked if that would be something he would be intested in. While our preference would certainly be to stay as close to Sheboygan as possible, we were willing to go wherever God wanted to move us.

For the past several months, I've continued to have issues with high blood pressure. My doctor had me go off the medication that I take for my chronic back issues, to see if that was contributing to blood pressure issues. After 3+ weeks of being off of that, my blood pressure is still high, so I am back on my pain meds (thank you, Lord) and not so great, but at least it is an option...blood pressure medication.

Also, over Christmas break, God prompted us to take our 6th grader out of school and homeschool him. With all these things going on, we were sensing that maybe my season of working outside the home was coming to an end. We are so grateful to God for providing that job for me, as it has made up for the pay decrease that Chris took when he was promoted last year. In all honesty, it was scary for me to think of giving up the paycheck. I didn't know how in the world we would make ends meet. And I was as strongly impressed that I needed to be home full time again.

Remember that scene in Indiana Jones-The Last Crusade where Indy makes his way through that deadly obstacle course in order to find the Holy Grail? One of the tests was the leap of faith out of the lion's mouth...I remember the way he puts his hand over his heart and boldly steps out-seemingly into a bottomless abyss. That's how I felt last Friday as I submitted my resignation....we were boldly taking a step of faith.

And of course, if you are familiar with that scene, you know that his foot landed on a firm bridge, and he didn't fall into that deep crevice. And if you are familiar with the ways of God, you know that God always provides solid footing for us.

Two hours later, Chris received a phone call asking him to go down to the office the next morning. I still have no words to explain how my heart felt when he told me.

The next day, he was offered the position as Regional Manager in Appleton. Our hearts are humbled and awed as we see how He has led us through this whole ordeal. He had a plan all along to take care of us and meet our needs, and we stand amazed at His goodness.

With this position comes a move for us. We have raised our babies here. We have grown up and grown together here.

Our hearts have been knit together with brothers and sisters in Christ. And it is painful to leave. I really don't want to think about it. Eventually, I know I'll have to. But right now, I don't think I can.

Lately, I've thought often of Proverbs 31:11. My husband has told me that it does his heart good to know that I have a plan and can manage the moving of our household (for those of you who know me, there is not much I don't have a plan for) For the next few weeks, my goal is to pack up our "stuff", fix a few things in the house, and get the house on the market. Sell or rent, God knows the plan for our home, and we are looking forward to seeing what that is!

These are the thoughts that we lay before the Lord, asking Him to make us attentive to His guidance...His leading....His will. We ask you to pray with us that

1) He will be preparing someone to purchase our home

2) He will be preparing our next home for us~a place where we can minister to and serve the people that He brings into our lives (we are checking out a few homes this Saturday!)

3) He will lead us to the church family that He intends for us to serve

Well, that's about it...I know that many of you have been praying for us, and I know that you will continue to pray for us during this transition! And for that, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Changes

2011-01-29T20:12:00.003-06:00

Our family may be on the brink of change. Or not. But there is the possibility, which has moved us as a family into a posture of prayer and submission to His perfect will for us. It has been amazing to experience the times of prayer (all seven of us crammed together on our bed) where we open our hearts to God~praising Him~thanking Him~asking His direction~thanking Him for His guidance~asking for His peace~these moments are precious to me. I don't know if we will remain here, in this city that is HOME to us. Or if we will be relocating to Eau Claire or Appleton, but one thing I know. We will be okay in whatever place we are in~because He is there with us.

2011-01-07T04:26:00.001-06:00

I have been listening in my head to Amy Grant's song "The Lord Has a Will" over the past several weeks. There are so many different aspects of our life that my husband and I need to make decisions on. We need to know what He wants for us. As we cry out to Him for insight and understanding of His will, my heart sings these words.

The Lord has a will
and I have a need to follow that will
to humbly be still
to rest in it
NEST in it
fully be blessed in it
following my Father's will.

I love the picture of NESTING in His will~surrounding myself with His truths, His love, His perfect plan for us...and then being in peace, knowing that this place is safe. This is the place that I can "hunker down" and be at rest.

Five Thing Fling

2010-09-03T06:31:00.001-05:00

I know that we have so much stuff that we don't really "need". Things that take up valuable time to keep organized or clean, things that simply take up space, things that we wouldn't necessarily move with us if God ever calls us somewhere else. I'm not opposed to parting with this "stuff", but finding the time to go through and think through all the decisions of what to keep, what not to keep, what to fix, etc, etc is honestly, a little overwhelming. So...

This month I instituted a new project for myself to help me declutter in a way that really doesn't take much time and will make the process a bit smoother.

On the 5th day of the month (or thereabouts), every month for this coming year, I am going to go through every room of my house and remove (or fling...because it rhymes with "thing")5 things which I don't need, or use, or want anymore. I will pack them up in a box and drop them off at Goodwill. I figure over the course of the year, I will have lightened our material load by 540 items-at least!

I've already done the office and I got rid of...

2 puzzles
3 books
1 hot air balloon lamp

and in the dining room I parted with...

1 set of dishes (which actually was 48 pieces)
1 set of mismatched glasses
1 really cute little coffee/mug set~it is adorable
1 ceramic piggy bank shaped like a red pick up truck with rocks in the back
1 little red flyer wagon
1 scented oil diffuser

I think I will be tackling my bedroom this afternoon/evening, so I'll let you know what goes! : )

Limitless

2010-08-27T09:19:00.002-05:00

I've been pondering a conversation I had with a friend yesterday. Basically, her concern was how can we be involved in a emotionally, physically or spiritually taxing ministry and still have enough strength left to give to our children/families.

This morning, during my walk, God reminded me of this truth.

When we are involved in a ministry of His choosing, we are drawing from His strength. And...

His strength is limitless.

Only when we are working our own agenda, in our own strength, do we need to worry about strength running out. When we are abiding in Him/remaining in His will for our life, we have an abundant supply of whatever He knows we need to accomplish that which He has called us to.

I find this to be so encouraging. (i.e. filling me with courage to tackle the "to-do list" He gives me every day)

Thank You, Lord, that Your strength is LIMITLESS.

Today's Schedule

2010-07-28T07:24:00.002-05:00

7:30am Clean bedroom~sweep and dust~make bed

8:30am Shower and get ready for day

9:00am Chiropracter appointment

9:30am Pick up the little guy I babysit

9:45am Make brownies for tonight's dessert

10:00a Head upstairs to tackle the clothing jungle in my boy's room

12:00p Make lunch for the boys/finish putting together the dessert

1:00pm Finish up (maybe~we'll see~Lord willing) the boy's closet

2:00pm Head into work for a few hours

6:00pm Pick up hubby from home and head over to spend the evening with friends
that are so very dear to my heart...I am tearing up in thankfulness that I get
to spend time with them tonight!

9:00pm Go to bed with...

a migraine from laughing so hard (which always happens when we
get together),

a mind that is tucking away precious memories,

and a heart that is overflowing with love for these dear people that God has
allowed me to share life with!

This is the day the Lord has made~I will rejoice and be glad in it!

Monday Morning Reflections

2010-07-25T06:08:00.001-05:00

Another weekend is over.

Another week is beginning.

Over and over the cycle goes...gaining momentum it seems.

This summer if flying by.

Sigh.

Friday night my sister came over, we grilled out, watched a movie while eating our hotdogs and simply enjoyed being together.

Saturday morning started out early (before everyone else was up) with cleaning the kitchen and then scrubbing the kitchen floor on my hands and knees (in my opinion the best way to do it) and doing Saturday chores together before I headed to work.

After work, came one of my favorite "Fests"***Greek Fest! Yum!!!! My hubbie and I went down to the lake with some friends of ours to enjoy gyros, "flaming cheese" and Greek music. We brought baklava and honey puffs back to our house to eat with coffee. (thank you, Lord, for friends and fellowship)

On Sunday it was lovely to serve the Lord by playing the piano for the first service, and a sermon that touched my heart, and creates in me the desire for more of Him~so much more of Him. After church, I went to work at the gift shop~and got a lot done...the weekends are great for that! Came home and ate supper with my family while watching Extreme Home Makeovers (I always cry!)

This morning, I read from Psalm 73

"Yet I am always with you;
You hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward You will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And earth as nothing I desire besides You.
My heart and my flesh may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever...it is good to be near God." vs 23-26, 28a

Amen.

Today is the day He has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. And I am so glad He is with me in this day.

Living for Jesus

2010-07-21T11:38:00.001-05:00

One of my all time favorite hymns is "Living for Jesus". In fact, it was the inspiration for the name of this blog.

So, when I received the list of hymns that I would be playing on Sunday morning, I was so excited to see that it was included. And then I saw that we were scheduled to sing only the first three verses.

Really? I wondered to myself if the worship coordinator had read the last verse. I figured she must not have, because it is such a great verse...no one could leave it out on purpose. : )

After a few days, I decided that I just couldn't live with not asking her to *please* add the last verse onto the song schedule. And when I did, she (of course, being the lovely and gracious lady that she is) included the last verse!

This song sums up my heart's desires concerning my relationship with Him. I hope it reflects your heart for Him, as well!

Living for Jesus a life that is true,
Striving to please Him in all that I do;
Yielding allegiance glad-hearted and free,
This is the pathway of blessing for me.

O Jesus, Lord and Saviour,
I give myself to Thee;
For Thou, in Thine atonement,
Didst give Thyself for me.
I own no other Master,
My heart shall be Thy throne.
My life I give, henceforth to live,
O Christ, for Thee alone.

Living for Jesus who died in my place,
Bearing on Calvary my sin and disgrace;
Such love constrains me to answer His call,
Follow His leading and give Him my all.

Living for Jesus wherever I am,
Doing each duty in His holy name;
Willing to suffer affliction and loss,
Deeming each trial a part of my cross.

Living for Jesus through earth's little while,
My dearest treasure-the light of His smile;
Seeking the lost ones He came to redeem,
Bringing the weary to find rest in Him.

Just my thoughts this morning...

2010-07-14T06:55:00.001-05:00

There are days when I wake up and just feel "ugh".

Why?

I'm not sure. I was asking the LORD yesterday why I can sometimes feel so "off", so "blah" about my life. I didn't get an answer to that specific question. But He did give me a couple of Scripture verses to ponder that are influencing my heart and mind.

"May God be gracious to us and bless us
and make His face shine upon us-
so that Your ways may be known on earth,
Your salvation among all nations."
Psalm 67:1-2

I was convicted that so often, I ask God to bless me for my comfort, or ease, or peace, or whatever the case may be. Forgive me, Lord. Change my mind and my heart to desire Your blessing for the right reasons...so that others will come to know You, and learn of the salvation that You are offering to each and every one.

The second Scripture is also from the Book of Psalms~

"Praise be to the LORD, to God our Saviour,
who daily bears our burdens."
Psalm 68:19

Thank You, LORD, that You daily bear my burdens-You don't get tired or weary and decide to give up on me. No matter how I feel or what I do, every single morning when I wake up, You are ready and waiting to face the day with me.

Thank You~Thank You

I know I don't deserve it, but I want to be so ever aware of what I think, say and do in response to Your amazing love.

How can I keep from singing Your praise?

How can I ever say enough?

How amazing is Your love!

The Organized Homemaker

2010-07-01T15:20:00.001-05:00

I want to be one.

An organized homemaker.

If you know me, you will know that I love to organize.

Seriously.

And I also love being a homemaker.

But something that the LORD has taught me over the past few years, is that the glue that holds those two words together is "discipline". In order to be an organized homemaker, sometimes I just need to do what I don't want to do. Or don't do something that I want to do. And honestly, that has not been an easy thing for me to learn. Good intentions, the patience of my husband, having company over...all those things never held enough sway over me to cause a true and permanent change in my attitude and actions.

What did motivate me?

God's Word, pure and simple.

"...urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that none will align the Word of God." Titus 2:4-5

"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value." Proverbs 31:11

"She watched over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:27

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1

"As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart." Proverbs 27:19

I could go on and on with Scripture that has pointed me, guided me, rebuked me and taught me. When I have come before God, in tears and desperate for Him and His way in my life, He is so gentle and good in showing me how to please Him.

I take great comfort in the fact that He knows my heart. He doesn't ask for perfection, but for wholeheartedness, and that's what I offer Him. So, that's been part of my journey for the past several years. Learning to take the organizational skills that He has given me and apply them with the discipline that He instills in me.

And I am slowly~

one day at a time~

becoming an organized homemaker.

2010-06-28T16:02:00.001-05:00

"Know the state of your flocks,
and put your heart into caring for your herds.

Proverbs 27:23

I am thankful for....

2010-06-24T09:09:00.001-05:00

Chris

Michaela

Alex

William

Max

Miles

(and Gracie and Mercy, too!)

Pathway of Blessing

2010-06-24T07:35:00.001-05:00

Yes, I am changing my blog name back to "Pathway of Blessing". As I look through pictures that I've taken, sermon notes, quotes, ideas written down, etc, the theme of pathways is prominent. It IS a theme of my life. I don't think any more so than making "mi casa su casa"...making you welcome in my home and my life, but I just think a more fitting blog name for me.
That said, I am praying about whether or not to continue. Obviously, I don't post very frequently, mostly because it isn't priority and something I believe God is ASKING me to do. So, that request for wisdom is laid at His feet right now and I'm sure He will guide me into whatever HIS will is for me at this time.

Transitions

2010-05-15T14:38:00.001-05:00

The past few months have been full of changes for us. And change isn't always comfortable...or easy. But we know it's from the Lord. Therein lies our comfort and strength. He has ordained these transitions in our life, and so we know He will also give us the strength we need to persevere.
Within days of each other, my husband accepted a promotion within the company that came with a cut in pay, he started taking classes at night, and I started a new job, which involves me being away from my home a few days a week. I must say, it was a crazy couple of months, and we knew it would be, but I am glad that things are settling down now. Chris completed the CNA course (and did a really great job!), he is learning how to manage and encourage the guys that work with him, and I am slowly getting used to the new schedule with my job.
As I look back over this time, the moments that I treasure are the times that we were together in prayer before the Lord, sometimes in tears, seeking Him and His will for our lives. We so desperately want to serve Him, that the thought of being even just a tiny bit off the course that He has set for us is unbearable. But He gently leads us, teaching us and saying "This is the way, walk in it"...he keeps reminding us that he has "a future and a hope" planned for us. And so we keep moving into these new areas He has made ready for us. We are eager, knowing that He is using us and preparing us all at the same time. So while transitions are sometimes hard, they are precious and beautiful and part of His plan.

One Goal

2010-01-12T14:29:00.002-06:00

Every December, I start praying about what goals God wants me to have for the coming year. I look over last year's goals, pondering why certain goals I seemed to reach, and why others fell short-not even close. This past December, I must admit, I was discouraged. I've had some of the same goals every year since 2003. I am ashamed and saddened by that. Was I not reaching for the things of Christ, was I too lazy to make effort toward those particular goals? I pushed my binder away from me, not to think about it again until I was reading the Facebook status of a missionary lady that I knew growing up. She was sharing her New Year's Resolution, which was "to walk in the Spirit". And that's when it hit me. That's the way it ought to be. At least for me. For now. Don't get me wrong, I still have things that I want to have done by next year. Like, for instance, the quilt that I started many years ago. Or the joy of knowing that my siblings actually received birthday cards from me this year. In fact, God has been speaking to my heart about the way I manage my time, and I am making changes in response to His prompting. But this year, I have just one goal...to walk in the Spirit.

2009-12-21T13:56:00.001-06:00

I grew up in South America as a "missionary kid". And I loved it. For years, I've been wanting to see all the pictures that my parents took while in Bolivia, but unfortunately they were all in slide form, and since I don't have access to a slide projector, that desire remained just that-a desire.

Recently, my dad brought up all their slides and a slide scanner so that I could scan them onto the computer. I was so excited to start, but when the day came to begin that project, the scanner didn't work. I was so bummed to tell them that I couldn't do it, especially because I know they were excited to finally get them into digital form.

Last week, my daughter and I were at Kohl's and I happened to see a film and slide scanner on sale for 20% off, and since I had a coupon for 30% off-I snatched it right up! It works beautifully! I was able to scan everything they sent up...1, 741 slides....and they were surprised and thrilled to see the pictures again after so long!

During those days of scanning and sorting pictures, I shed many tears. And laughed quite a bit, too! I was reminded of what my heart loved first. The country, the people, the friends I made...those all shaped me to be who I am today. I will probably write quite a few posts about it...the impact on my life was huge. And I want to remember and embrace the way I was raised. For all it's unique challenges and blessings...I thank God!

Here's a picture of me shortly after we arrived in Bolivia. We were saying good-bye to our siblings before we flew in a small airplane to the boarding school that we attended. I was laughing with my husband about the size of my glasses-calling them coke-bottle bottoms, and his reply was...

"Hon, those aren't coke bottles, those are windshields!" So absolutely true-and funny! (but wait til you see some pictures from later in my life. How I thank God for contact lenses!) I could sit here and share pictures and reminisce all day, but I need to pick up my daughter from school (exams this week! So, she's out a little early) and get one of my boys to the doctor.

I'll post again soon. Have a good day!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEX!

2009-12-13T18:58:00.001-06:00

On Friday, December 11th, at 3:30 in the afternoon, Alex turned 13 years old. We spent the day together, just Alex with Mom and Dad, and we had a great time. We left Sheboygan after stopping in Grafton for a Starbucks coffee~mocha frappucino for him and and eggnog latte for Dad. We arrived at "the Domes" in Milwaukee around 10:00. What a great time we had there!

It was beautiful (and warm)! Lovely! Afterwards, he wanted to go to Panera for lunch. Dad wanted to go to Olive Garden (really, really bad), but Alex held out...I was proud of him! As we spent the day together, I really enjoyed pondering who he is. He is generous, works great with kids and is always ready to help out when someone needs a hand (he shoveled us out of our last snow storm all by himself because Chris went immediately from one job to the next in that one day!) I am so proud of the young man that he is, and so looking forward to seeing him become the man God has intended since before time began. I love you, kiddo!

'Tis the Season!

2009-12-07T08:04:00.000-06:00

Well, now it officially feels like winter.

This morning I awoke at 4:30am to the sound of snowplows in the street. After breakfast, the boys were rooting through the winter clothing barrel to find snowpants/boots so they could play in the snow at school today. I was going around the house, turning on the Christmas tree and my little village lights, lighting candles and putting on soft Christmas music.

It is time to snuggle down and embrace the coziness of our little nest.

I can't help but hope that the next big snowfall, which is supposed to hit us tomorrow night into Wednesday, will give us a "snow day". I would love to have the kids home from school with me to bake cookies, drink hot cocoa, play "apples to apples", and maybe watch a Christmas movie together.

Winter is here...snow is here...and I am going to relish this season and all the opportunity it gives us to be close together! Happy Winter, everyone!

"Max"

2009-10-13T13:15:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Max's birthday. And this year, their gift from us is a day spent with just Mom and Dad! So, after we dropped the other children off at school, we filled up the van with gas (this is Chris and Max coming out of Kwik Trip-Max wanted to pay for the gas)...

and then we stopped at Starbucks to buy Mom and Max some coffee-he ordered a caramel latte...

and then headed down to the Milwaukee Public Museum. Max wanted to walk through the streets of Old Milwaukee first...

and then posed on the beggar's lap...

He loved taunting the t-rex (and we observed that they have updated the sounds...now it sounds just like Jurassic Park)....

At 10:30, we went to the IMAX showing of "Wild Ocean". Max loves all things marine/aquatic, and although the size of the screen was a bit scary for him, he LOVED it!... Before we left, he got to hold a "Madagascar cockroach" (I had to hold Chris back...LOL)

After the museum, we went to the restaurant of his choice...Five Guys. He ordered the same size sandwich as Chris...and managed to finish it all!

We finished our day off by stopping at Kopp's for custard on the way home. He told us that there were absolutely no words to say what a good time he had. My heart wells up inside me when I hear him say that. What a joy it was to spend the day with our little man...

We love you, Max!

Goodwill

2009-10-05T13:56:00.000-05:00

I really like this store, especially when I go with my sisters. Or like today, when I bump into a friend and we had each other to give feedback about the clothes we had found. My friend assured me that the sweater that I liked WAS great, while sadly, I had to tell my friend that I thought the blouse she found was too big....sigh! I told her I would keep looking with her, but she had to get going, so we said goodbye. Her with empty hands and me, holding the coupon that she gave to me since she didn't need it.

What a fun little gift from God, not just the sweaters that I am needing now that the weather is turning cooler, but some time with a very dear friend that I don't see nearly as much as I'd like to. An opportunity to re-connect in the middle of our busy lives. Thank you, God!

Great is Your faithfulness, O God!

2009-09-25T13:26:00.001-05:00

Great is Thy faithfulness

O God my Father,

There is no shadow of turning with Thee

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided

Great is Thy faithfulness

Lord unto me.

Today is a day that I feel humbled and overwhelmed by His faithfulness to me. I started the day weary. And honestly, questioning His faithfulness. My hope was fading. Do you not love the verse that tells us "if we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself." ~2 Timothy 2:13 I am living that truth today. I was unfaithful by not placing my trust and hope in Him, but He proved me wrong. He is worthy of my trust and in Him, my hope is never misplaced!

You, O Lord, gave me...

a vehicle that is now running

an opportunity to remind myself of Your truths with a friend

friends that love me more than I deserve

a time of laughter and friendship and yummy food

butternut squash

bread, tuna and apples

a bill paid off~my phones turned on

a gift for a birthday party

groceries for our pantry

a husband who is kind and loving

and the one that I love the most, because it is one that will never fade away, it is here the moment I reach for it. I can have it whenever I want~

...Your word

....Your promises

....You

and that was before the day was half-done. I will continue to "taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who trust in Him! Let the Lord's people show Him reverence, for those who honor Him will have all they need. Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will never lack any good thing." ~Psalm 34:8-10

ugh!

2009-09-22T12:11:00.000-05:00

Has it really been since May that I have blogged? Yikes! I think I need to give myself the freedom to take a little bit of time to do this again. Even though I don't know if anyone sees it, it is still fun and artsy in it's own way, and I enjoy writing....hmmm.....I'm thinking this through. To allow myself to sit down with a cup of coffee and create...or dream...or vent...or share whatever God is teaching me in that moment. It seems like a great idea, will I actually follow through? I guess that remains to be seen. But I'm giving myself permission to at least think about it!

(oh, I am seeing the rain pouring down and thinking about the teenage boy whose vehicle I have because mine is not working. Oh no...he has the scooter. I better call him and make sure he doesn't need a ride anywhere!)

The Little Things

2009-05-05T13:05:00.001-05:00

You know, I am absolutely convinced that God cares about the little things in our lives. Just recently, I've been asking God to please show me how to be a better steward of my husband's paycheck, and wondering if there was anything that I could do to earn some money to contribute to the household budget. Well, guess what? He has provided a way for me to earn some extra money....by ironing! I love to iron. It is what I do when I have some free time and I want to relax. Amazing to think that God loves me enough to pay me to do something enjoyable. Wow!
Today, I was at my ironing job, having a grand ol' time, listening to music...just loving the peace and quiet of the home that I was in, and I started wondering if I was doing a good enough job for the lady who hired me. (I was ironing her daughter's pleated skirts!) I meditated on that for a while, but in the end I realized that my only duty was to work as if I was working for the Lord Jesus, and just rest in the fact that I was doing my best. "But what if my best isn't good enough?" a little thought niggled at the back of my mind. Hmmm. Well, about 2 minutes later my cell phone rang. It was my "boss" (I don't really know what to call her. I've never even met her in person!) She was calling to give me a heads up that the painter would be stopping by to check on something and she didn't want me to be alarmed. She also mentioned that the clothes were ironed beautifully last time..... You might not think anything of it, but I believe that it was God assuring me that my best was good enough. Isn't He good to speak to our hearts and fellowship with us throughout the day? It's one of the not-so-little things that I love about Him.

~Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing~

2009-04-30T10:03:00.000-05:00

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,

tune my heart to sing Thy grace;

Streams of mercy, never ceasing,

call for songs of endless praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet,

sung by flaming tongues above;

praise His name!

I'm fixed upon it-

name of God's redeeming love.

Hitherto Thy love has blest me;

Thou hast brought me to this place;

And I know Thy hand will bring me

safely home by Thy good grace.

Jesus sought me when a stranger

wandering from the fold of God;

He, to rescue me from danger

bought me with His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor

daily I'm constrained to be!

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,

bind my wandering heart to Thee:

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

Prone to leave the God I love;

Here's my heart, O take and seal it;

seal it for Thy courts above.

~Robert Robinson

Today...

2009-04-29T10:12:00.000-05:00

I am sitting here at my desk. Which is finally cleared off. Thank you, Lord!
The dogs are scratching at the back door. Correction...Mercy is scratching at the back door. Her favorite place to be is by me, or on my lap, or chewing on me. Grace, on the other hand, is loving the nicer weather today. She likes to find a patch of sunshine and lay down in it...
My heart is full today. Full of life. Full of heartache. Full of God. Full of peace. In the midst (and I do mean the midst) of hard times, He is right there. Which makes everything okay. It seems like it should be a contradiction, but it is not. He is showing me how Matthew 5:3-12 looks like in real life.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called the children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Any of descriptions following "blessed are..." are difficult. Humbling myself. Repenting. Honoring others. Patience. Refining fire. Testing. More patience. Sacrifice. Weary-ing (I don't think that's a word, but you know what I mean). Yet in the midst of it, we are blessed. Comforted. Filled. Shown mercy. Access to the throne. Access to Him. Access to the shelter of His mighty wings...
Ahhh, I am content, in the midst of it all. Because I am sheltered by the Almighty. I am blessed.

Procrastination

2009-04-16T08:40:00.000-05:00

I am sitting here at my desk...overwhelmed and frustrated with the piles of papers that are covering it. Will I ever get the hang of paper control? Chris offered to put up a wall file thing-y for the children's separate schoolwork that I need to keep on hand for daily referral...but I still need to learn to deal with the other stuff. So, here I am, I'd rather write about my problem than tackle it. But, how will I feel at the end of my day if I still am facing a messy and disorganized desk? Like I was a woman who did not use her hands to build up her house (Proverbs 14:1)...and that's not what I want. Lord, please give me wisdom as I tackle this mess. Help me to know what to keep, and what to throw away. Be my Counselor today, as you have promised. (John 14:26)
Oh Lord, You are so good! You are so faithful to me!

FUN FAIR!

2009-04-04T19:26:00.001-05:00

Today, we spent the day at our school's Fun Fair. And it was fun! Half of the gym was set up for a 3 on 3 basketball tournament, and the other half was set up with several different games.

BOWLING!

BALLOON SHAPES!

"PICK A DUCK"

SOME KIND OF SUCKER GAME

RING TOSS!

Another mom (J) and I selling tickets. The children all had a wonderful time playing with their classmates, and I really enjoyed getting to know J a little better. I think that the ladies in charge did a fabulous job, and I am already looking forward to next year's Fun Fair!

2009-03-28T11:13:00.000-05:00

My boys and I are at the end of our week without Chris and Michaela. I am so excited....only 13 more hours until I pick them up from the church parking lot to bring them home. I get teary thinking about it! In the meantime, I'll just share some of the highlights of our week with you.

Saturday, March 21 Chris and Michaela left at 2:30 in the morning...the boys and I dropped Marcus at work and Maggie at the barn, and then came home to play. A friend of ours took the boys that afternoon to a movie...and McDonalds...and the park!

Sunday, March 22 Church in the morning....then another park day with their friends! (enjoying the lovely weather!)

Monday, March 23 We had D and G over to play. G loved the puppy, Mercy, and kept asking me to lock them into the kennel.... (don't worry, I didn't!) At lunchtime, we had Z join our group of boys when his mom dropped off pizza for all of us! What a blessing that was!

The boys watched part of Chronicles of Narnia...and then ate some Turkish Delight that I picked up from TJ Maxx. They loved it!
On Tuesday the 24th, we had a relaxing morning, followed by a fun afternoon at McDonalds with my sister and the kids that she watches...and then the Pizza Ranch that evening. D got to spend the night with us, so the boys folded clothes and then got to watch a movie.

Wednesday morning we woke up and had a nice breakfast and then headed down to the Milwaukee Zoo! It was so cold, but we had a great time!

On Wednesday night, we all slept downstairs in the living room, b/c the boys wanted to help me with the puppy during the night. It was late, all the lights in the house were out, and the boys and I were talking in the dark...it was a lovely moment. I don't even remember what we talked about (like I said, it was late), but it is a moment I want to remember always.

Thursday morning my Gma, sister T and I went to Goodwill...had a great time. That afternoon, my sister T had all the kids over for an Easter egg hunt...they had a lot of fun. I love watching my boys interact with the kids she takes care of.

That afternoon, I was meeting my sister L at Office Max when my mom called me to tell me that a friend of ours took his own life. He is with the Lord now, and free from the depression that he struggled with for so long, but my heart is breaking for his wife and their children. This couple holds a special place in our hearts, as they were the family that invited us to stay with them in their home while William was in the NICU, so that we could be close to him. They spent many hours praying with us, encouraging us as we went through this experience, emailing updates to my parents and other friends, making us feel so welcome and comforted during what was a very difficult time for us. If you are reading this, please pray for her and the children!

On Friday, Miles was invited to go to the museum with a friend from school. He came home eating crickets. REAL crickets. FLAVORED crickets (bacon and cheese, I believe). I am sure that they are going to get a kick out of telling their friends and teacher on Monday! Alex went over to his friend's house to play, and Max and Will just hung out with me. Until the afternoon, when I brought Max to the walk-in, b/c of fever and sore throat. The rapid strep test came back negative, so hopefully he's okay...but they will call if the culture grows strep. He felt okay with medicine in him, so I sent him along with the other boys for a sleepover at my sister L's house. And that is where they are now...having fun...beating my sister at Nintendo games...not wanting to come home. That's okay by me, since I am trying to catch up on the laundry and cleaning that I did not do while we were having our fun week! I also want to run down to the music store and pick up a guitar stand as a welcome home gift for my hubbie. He has wanted one for a while, and I'd really like to surprise him!
It was a wonderful week. Not always easy. Sometimes exhausting. But definitely joy-filled. Definitely good. Thank you, Lord!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T13:55:00.000-06:00

As we celebrate this "day of love", my mind cannot help but think about these verses....

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son

as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us, we also

ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another,

God lives in us and His love is made complete in us."

1 John 4:10-12

It is amazing to me that God trusts us to share Him and His love with one another...with the world around us. That God can be seen in our love for one another....wow...what a privelege...what a responsibility. Lord, help me to be a faithful testimony of your love!

Scripture Memory

2009-02-09T13:51:00.002-06:00

This past weekend, my hubbie and I were sharing with each other the areas in our lives that we sense God asking us to change, or do something about. I have very keenly been aware of my need to be memorizing Scripture. Now, more than ever, I need to have His word stored in my heart. More than that, I need His Words written on my heart. Etched into my heart.
As I finished my time with the Lord this afternoon, I was directed to Jude, verse 24. I've been thinking about what I should memorize, and this verse strikes a chord in me. We've been studying the first portion of the Book of Revelation during our Adult Bible Fellowship time on Sunday mornings, and just yesterday we were studying the description that John gave of "the voice that was speaking to me". This is a description of the First and Last, the Living One, the One into whose glorious presence I will find myself...and this verse overwhelms my heart with promise.

"To Him who is able to keep you from stumbling

and to present you before His glorious presence

without fault and with great joy-

to the only God our Saviour

be glory, majesty,

power and authority,

through Jesus Christ our Lord,

before all ages,

now and forevermore!

Amen."

Without fault? and with great joy? How glorious that will be! And truly to Him be all glory and majesty, power and authority, for now and forevermore!

Lessons being learned...

2009-01-30T07:48:00.001-06:00

When I said that Iwould post about my unexpected company once I had all the words together in my mind....I thought that I had learned my lesson. I was wrong. Apparently, God knew that I needed yet another lesson, and I have a feeling, much more growing and learning to do in this area.
For several years now, I have had the desire to start a soup kitchen in our area. Not just a place where we ladle out a hot meal into someone's bowl, but where we can sit down and talk...connect...care...share....a place to live out the hope that Jesus offers us.
Recently, our small group from church has been talking about offering a soup supper to those in the area that need a warm meal...and an opportunity to connect with someone. I've been getting excited about this and making plans and what do you know? God tested my heart. In the middle of a very busy evening (children had been sick, phone calls were coming in left and right, supper was running late and our son had to be at the school Spelling Bee in just a short time), a couple that we know came to our door, sharing that they were homeless and they had no other place to go. My husband came into the kitchen and explained the situation and then went into another room to call a deacon from our church. I stood there at the stove and fumed. I actually prayed that they would hurry and leave. And this is how He answered. "Nichole, how can you say you want to start a soup kitchen and serve those in need, when you can't even serve those I send to your door? "Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, 'Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?" James 2:15-16
As I confessed my selfish heart to Him, I also thanked Him that I could actually do something about it still. So, I put on my bathrobe (did I mention that I was making supper in my pajamas because I had just showered?), went into the living room and by the grace of God invited them to stay and share our supper meal with us...with a sincere heart.
That was a few days ago. Last night while Chris was at parent-teacher meetings, I heard a knock at our door, and opened it to find our friends standing there, very cold. I invited them in, but my heart....my stubborn and selfish heart...was not Christ-like. (Can you believe it? After that amazing experience on Monday night? I am so saddened by my attitude.) We sat for a while and talked. They had been walking around the city all day long, trying to keep warm. And as I saw their weariness, God began to soften my heart toward them. We talked about their recent past, their plans, their future...and God impressed on my heart the need to forgive, and give second chances. (After all, I am a recipient of His mercy, how can I not share the same?)
So, once again, convicted of my lack of love (in action), I made my way to the kitchen to make a warm meal for them. As I served them, I prayed that it would be speak to their hearts of God's love, not simply to their physical bodies and their immediate needs. As they left that evening, I truly did care about what lay ahead for them, and I hope we see them again soon.
So, I begin this day...realizing that I have so much to learn, thankful that He gives me second chances...and He will continue making me the woman that He created me to be, and excited about the opportunites that He will bring into my life. I simply pray that I will take those opportunities and obey, with a whole heart, the first time.

I "cheated"

2009-01-26T18:40:00.001-06:00

My eating plan for today went well. Until supper tonight. Some friends gave us an Indian recipe (Nawabi chicken) a while ago and tonight was the night to make it. I was already craving carbs (big-time!) and then we had the unexpected blessing of company for dinner tonight, and so I figured that I wouldn't be able to eat as much chicken....so I figured I should probably eat some rice to make up the difference. And besides, I woudn't want to compromise the integrity of a meal that is supposed to be eaten with rice...by eating it without. So I ate it with rice. And not even the brown rice that I normally feed my family. We had a bag of white rice in the pantry and I figured that tonight would be a great night to use it since I wasn't eating rice. So, I cheated...with WHITE rice. Yikes!
But I gotta say, the Nawabi chicken was excellent. And God taught my heart a lesson about interruptions....but I'll post about that once the words come together in my mind.

2009-01-26T10:01:00.000-06:00

Well, I am starting a revised South Beach Diet eating plan today. Mostly in order to kill the sugar cravings that have been tormenting me.
Early am warm lemon water (and coffee, of course...I told you it was revised)
meal #1 two eggs (hard-boiled, scrambled or fried) and V8 juice (with all my meds and vitamins)
snack #1 apple or orange, and piece of cheese
meal #2 salad with chicken, tuna and avocado or lunchmeat and cheese, with veggie sticks (carrots, celery)]
snack#2 almonds, nuts (this is where I am usually craving something full of carbs...it will be tough)
meal #3 steamed vegetables and whatever meat I am serving my family
snack #3 sugar free pudding or jello (along with meds and vitamins, again)

I am allowing myself unlimited tea, and I have several kinds on hand...green tea, black tea, Earl Grey, peppermint, Chai, raspberry and peach...
and until my supply runs out, I am letting myself have one can of Diet Mountain Dew everyday...maybe not the healthiest, but I know from past experience that it will sure help get me through this!
I know that this will be a hard week as my body goes through withdrawal from its familiar sugar rush....but I know I need to do it. Although I don't hold to everything he says, I like this quote from "Master Yoda"...

"Do or do not. There is no try"

So, Lord, I depend on your strength to do this thing which you've laid on my heart to do. And I know "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength".

2009-01-26T09:53:00.000-06:00

Snow

On your mark...get set...Snow!

Can't find anything to do this winter? Well, here are five things you could do...

Carol at 25 houses
Sled down a hill 25 times (or until you get tired!)
Put up 25 ornaments
Throw 25 snowballs
Spend 25 minutes praising God.

~Alex Tittle, grade 6

Blessed!

2009-01-20T14:00:00.000-06:00

I thank my husband for...
1. taking the time to look at my scrapbook pages when he comes home from work
2. praying with me before we go to sleep at night
3. rubbing my back when it aches
4. sitting our children down in the evening and meditating over God's Word
5. working outside in the bitter cold, all day long, to provide for us
6. for making me laugh
7. for the way he pulls me close at night, making me feel safe
8. for asking me what God is teaching me...and listening to me share my heart
9. for forgiving me, even when I fail to ask for it
10.for not settling for "mediocre" in this life of following God, but being willing to be constantly
tested, examined and spurred on to further growth

After a great conversation with some dear friends, I find myself holding these truths precious!
These are things that he does on a regular basis to demonstrate his love for me. And I don't want to take them for granted! Lord, please help me take each and every opportunity that you give me to demonstrate my love for him. Let him be as confident in my love for him as I am in his!

I did it!

2009-01-17T12:08:00.001-06:00

I managed to move all my posts from my old blog to this one. The move was for a couple of reasons...number one, I am no longer teach my children at home. The second reason being that this format is easier for me to use. I am definitely not "computer literate", and I have enjoyed the ease with which I can blog. Makes it much more enjoyable.
Well, I am going to continue my day...my husband and daughter are at a missions trip meeting, son #3 is still at a friend's house after spending the night, sons #1, 2 and 4 are playing the Jumpstart 4th grade computer game...the house is peaceful!
Have a great day!

2009-01-17T10:31:00.001-06:00

Well, I've been thinking about getting this new blog up and running for quite a while, but just haven't taken the time. I still need to transfer my posts from my old blog...if I can remember the old address...
Well, one thing at a time. Let's see if I can get this entry to post okay, and I'll take it from there.

Really?

2008-04-14T10:57:00.000-05:00

It has been since December that I've posted. I apologize to you, my friends, who check in on my blog from time to time... Wow, I can't believe how time has flown.
I am getting ready to sell/give away much of my homeschool materials tonight at our Curriculum Fair. It has been very difficult to go through our books, supplies, etc. but I know that is what God is leading us to do right now. The older children are doing relatively well in their school situation, and the two youngest boys are looking forward to joining them next year. I am looking forward to all the opportunities I have to get involved in their lives at school during the day, and the lives of their friends and teachers.
Change is not easy. I know that God doesn't ask me to change unless it is for my good, but that still doesn't make it easy. But perspective is so important. I pray daily for a handful of children that are fighting a losing battle against a horrible type of cancer. Even though I've only seen these children in photos, and have gotten to know them through their websites, I love them...and my heart aches to see their families in pain. I pray daily for the Lord to show Himself to them, giving them the hope of eternity with Him....and these precious children whose time here on earth is so short. Remembering what others are going through and lifting them to God in prayer...it gives me the perspective I need to make the changes that God is asking of me.
As I am writing this I am hearing some tremendous bumps and thumps coming from upstairs in the boys' bedroom. No cries, so I'm assuming all is "well", but I should at least go and check out what's going on up there! Besides, it's time to start school for the day!
I hope everyone has a great day!

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T10:56:00.000-06:00

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Good morning, dear family! Just want to wish you all a wonderful day celebrating Jesus! I love you each so much!
Feliz Navidad!
~me

"I Still Do"

2007-12-17T10:55:00.000-06:00

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"Chris, I praise God for bringing you into my life and I know that He has brought us together for the ultimate purpose of serving and glorifying Him. I love you, and I give myself to you. As I seek to grow in God's love and keep Him first, I can love you selflessly and thus, I commit myself to you for as long as we both shall live or until our Lord returns to take us Home. As your wife, I will gladly submit to your headship as unto the Lord. I will cherish you. I will pray with you. I will stand beside you in good times and bad. I will seek to build you up and honor you. To you I make this sacred vow~ You are my beloved and you are my friend." Those words I say to you again today, as sincerely as I spoke them fifteen years ago. I love you.

Heartache

2007-12-06T10:54:00.000-06:00

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung, and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal." ~C.S. Lewis
"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan."
~Irving Townsend

Today my heart aches. Yesterday, our 2 year old miniature Dachshund, Isabella, was hit by a car and killed. I am grieving. I've questioned my maturity and relationship with God because of the deep nature of my grieving. But this I know about myself. I am an all-or-nothing type person. If I love, I love wholeheartedly. A friend kindly teased me about comments I had made about Bellie. "I thought you didn't like her." I didn't alway "like" her, but I loved her deeply. And I will miss her so much. She was cute, and spunky, oh-so-smart. She would climb from the couch onto the piano bench when I was playing and continually drop her little ring toy until I would play with her. If that "subtle" approach didn't work, she would simply climb inyo my lap while I was playing, and proceed to put her front paws on the keys, playing with me. She would always jump into the bathtub to drink the water that was sitting around the drain. (yuk) She loved to snuggle. I'm sure I will write more about her, but for now I have children that need help with homework.

An Attitude like His

2007-12-04T10:53:00.000-06:00

Referring to God's Chosen Servant...Jesus Christ....
"He will be gentle-he will not shout or raise his voice in public. He will not crush those who are weak or quench the smallest hope." Isaiah 42: 2-3
and then, over to Philippians 2:5.
"Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had."
Lord, teach me.

Spiritual Gifts

2007-11-05T10:52:00.000-06:00

Our Adult Bible Fellowship just finished a two-month series on spiritual gifts and being ministers of Christ Jesus. Although I have done studies in the past, this time it impacted me in a very personal and timely way.
Here's the thing...Right now, the area of ministry that God has me in is not easy. Some days I really want to say "enough! I can't do it anymore!" And lately, I've had many of those days. BUT, God tells me that I am to serve Him cheerfully in the area He has placed me, He wants me to be WHOLEHEARTED about this.
Last Saturday, I was telling my husband how I just wanted to move out into the country and live like a hermit, I just didn't want to interact with people anymore. Then, Sunday morning came and Pastor Mark was teaching from Romans 12...about spiritual gifts, and using them wholeheartedly, representing the body of Christ in a loving and cheerful way. I was convicted and moved as God spoke directly to my heart. My husband (who worked in childcare that day) couldn't wipe the grin off his face as I conveyed this to him on the way home. Truly, my face matched his, as I was so awed by how God spoke to my need so perfectly.
And yet, as I've meditated on this all this whole week, I realize that all service done without love is nothing. So, I decided to do a word study on the I Corinthians passage about love. Once again, I was humbled by the knowledge that I fall so short in demonstrating agape love. When hurt or disappointed, I want to pull back in, hide, quit, become proud or judgmental, anything but keep myself in a place of vulnerability. But I know that in order to be obedient to God, I must stay engaged in ministry, serving with a whole heart, a cheeful heart...understanding that it is not people that I am serving, but Almighty God. It should not matter what people say or think or do, all that should matter to me is what God says, what God sees, and what God does.
He has told me to minister. He sees my heart. And He gives me the grace I need every day to obey Him.

Romans 4:20-22

2007-10-25T10:51:00.000-05:00

"Abraham never waivered in believing God's promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger and in this, he brought glory to God. He was absolutely convinced that God was able to do anything He promised. And because of Abraham's faith, God declared him to be righteous."
A friend and I are doing a Beth Moore study...A Woman's Heart....God's Dwelling Place. It is a study of the tabernacle, the place where God chose to meet with His people. This past week we reviewed the first several chapters in Genesis, leading us to why there was a need for the tabernacle. As I was reading about Abraham, this passage brought tears to my eyes, and it tugged on my heart.
This year God led us to put our two oldest children into one of the schools in the area, and continue home-schooling our youngest three. I had no idea when we did that how difficult it would be to juggle the two different schoolings, plus the rest of life. Please understand, I am not complaining. I am simply admitting that this has been a lot more complicated than I thought it would be. And honestly, there are days when I want to give up...I don't care (at that moment) whether it means bringing the two oldest back home, or sending the three youngest off to school. I just don't feel like I can go on, because I can't see how it will all work out. Will my oldest children continue to thrive and stay strong in their school? (will they ever get caught up to grade level in math and handwriting?) Will my youngest ones ever learn what I am trying to teach them? (Currently...what is a civilization? What is history?) Will my house ever be clean and organized again? Will I always feel like I am trying to "catch up"?
Yes...to all of the above.
The children will continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of God at their school. Their principal just told me that they are catching up to grade level in math, and the children have assured me that the different handwriting is getting easier...
One of my younger sons excitedly made the connection during a discussion at the dinner table tonight that "the past" is "history". He's learning....
My house will be clean again. Maybe not for 15 more years, but....I can wait. And anyway, is it really that important?
....And yes, I will always be catching up on something.
I love my life. I have a lot of it on my plate right now. But I want to live every moment of it to the fullest, believing that He will also give me every thing I need to carry out His will. I want it to bring glory to God by my unwaivering faith in His promises. Lord, teach me to be absolutely convinced of your promises to me!

Lessons from a dinner plate

2007-10-25T10:50:00.000-05:00

This morning, a dear friend stopped by for a quick visit and I was lamenting to her how overwhelmed I was feeling. I told her that either I needed a bigger plate, or I needed less stuff on it. The problem, however, is that this is the plate God has given me, and I believe that everything that is on there is supposed to be there. It dawned on me, I can't remember if this was before or after she left, that I just need to learn to eat differently. Some of you might find this odd about me, but when I eat, I am generally pretty careful to keep my foods from touching each other...and I also generally eat all my foods one at a time (all the potatoes, then the meat, then the veggies, and so on...I have actually changed quite a bit in this area, but I still remember when 'that was the way I did it") So, this is what I realized today...I like my life to be like my dinner plate...organized, comfortable, not crowded, take one thing at a time....I am not very good at multi-tasking. You know what? I think God is asking me to change my eating habits.... I think he is saying that my life/thismeal can still be enjoyable even if I take a bit of this, then a bite of that, maybe take a bite of two different foods mixed together (yuk!)...how does this relate to my life? Maybe life will still be good if I do 15 minutes of chores before breakfast while I have that chunck of time rather than needing to wait for the "perfect" chunck of 30 minutes that I need for it. I can simply finish that job up when I find I have another "free 15" later on it the day. Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm not sure if I do yet, something rings true about this, but there is something about my nature that insists that a rigid schedule, having to keep every subject together,

Our vacation

2007-10-24T10:49:00.000-05:00

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We were supposed to go camping this past week (a gift from some friends-remember my earlier entry?) But the forecast was pretty nasty-looking (tornado watches, high winds, hail, lots of rain...) and so some friends from church offered us the use of their cottage on a lake in Kettle Moraine. We gratefully accepted their generous offer, and got to work changing menu plans and packing! The cottage was so nice to be in and had everything I needed for the few days we were there...all I had to pack was our clothing and food! Well, the first afternoon it drizzled. And that was it. It was a beautiful weekend, no rain, no tornadoes, no hail, just beautiful weather.... I wonder why God has us change our plans, but I may never know. We enjoyed most of the weekend together. On Friday evening, our son with asthma problems had a flare-up (we think a reaction to mildew) and so he and I spent the next couple of days back in town...meeting up with the family on Saturday afternoon for lunch at our favorite family restaurant and a movie at the theatre (BIG treat). On Sunday night we ended our vacation with arm wrestling matches, which were SO much fun...it is so good to laugh! While the vacation was much different than what we expected, it was a lovely time away...time to be together...enjoy the beauty of autumn as we drove to and from town...a time to breathe. Thank you, Lord, for this gift from you!

Everlasting God

2007-10-10T10:48:00.000-05:00

This song, by Chris Tomlin, is one that I've lately been listening to a lot. (a lot) It has encouraged me in so many different ways.
....He will never get weary of me coming to Him for help and strength. Sometimes I feel like I am wearing out my welcome with Him, but that is just not so. He is sticking with me for the long haul...
....He will share His strength with me when I am weary. Weary from my own human nature getting in the way of bringing Him glory, weary of the way fellow believers treat one another....
....the strength that He gives me will come as I trust and obey Him....
....my God will reign forever!!!!!!....
....this life , here on this earth, is just the beginning....

"GAK"

2007-09-21T10:47:00.000-05:00

My son, Alex, learned to make "gak" at school. He has had so much fun playing with it. He has made imprints in it, blown up huge balloons-like the one above, rolled it up, stuck it on himself....has had a lot of fun with it. So, here is the recipe for gak....have fun!
1 icecream bucket
2 cups of Elmer's glue
2 cups of warm water
Mix all together with hands.
Add 1 tsp of Borax
Add another cup of warm water, stir well.
He has his stored in a sealed plastic bag and it has kept dry for a week now....have fun with it!

The almost "perfect" fall day...

2007-09-17T10:46:00.000-05:00

we started our day at our local museum, where the children got to experience "hands-on" the ways in which a family from 1860 would prepare for the winter months ahead...
At the end of our lovely day, as the children were rolling down the hill at one of the great city parks, the little guy that I babysit for had a run-in with the step railings. Lots of blood (as usually is the case with head injuries) and tears, and it is yet-to-be-determined whether it is broken or not.... I should feel better that several minutes after my daughter took this last photo, he was rolling down the hill again, but boy, I sure feel bad for the little guy.
In spite of the not-so-great ending, we had a lovely day! The children learned a lot, and we all enjoyed spending time in the sunshine and cool weather!

Happy Birthday to...

2007-09-10T10:45:00.000-05:00

my grandma, who turned 75 yesterday. She is such an amazing person. She shops at the local farmer's market for a friend of hers, she does a craft with my boys every Tuesday morning so I can do Pilates, (also with the two children my sister is a nanny for), she lends me her car whenever ours has to go into the shop, she bakes cookies for us frequently, she just offered to make the turkey for our Thanksgiving dinner, she recently started volunteering at the hospital gift shop (and my sister, who works there, says she is GREAT!), she is always there to remind me to "take a deep breath" whenever things get hectic. She loves the Lord, and she loves people. I pray that people will say that about me when I turn 75.

Inspirations...

2007-09-08T10:44:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been in a bit of a quandry lately, trying to decide what to do with this blog. I love blogging, I love putting up pictures, etc...and as most of you know, that can take up quite a bit of time. I am also an all-or-nothing type of person (not saying that's a good thing...just a fact). So, I end up spending too much time on my blog, and I have a husband who loves seeing my face when he is home....not the back of my head facing the computer. My dh has never asked me to stop blogging, I don't think he ever would. BUT, I know him. And I want to bless him...not bug him. And so I haven't been sure whether or not to continue.
But then, something happens in my life that I really want to share...with everyone...and I think that maybe there is a way to work this out, find a balance, and still be a blessing to my husband...I am going to try. 'Cause I really want to share this with you...
Last week, as I was looking at our budget for the next few months, I began to realize that we would have to forego our annual autumn camping trip, and I was dreading having to tell my husband, because he loves this family time! But God knows the desires of our hearts, and He had a plan....
On Thursday, when a dear friend of mine was dropping off her little boy (who I babysit for), she walked in carrying this basket, an idea that she and her family came up with two weeks ago...
a gift of love and thanks...a camping basket...complete with a few nights stay at our favorite park! These are a few of our favorite things... Reese's peanut butter cups for my dear hubbie, coffee and new travel mug for me, s'mores for the kids, a grilling tool, filling for pudgie pies....
She didn't want me to open the card until after she had left, and there I sat, surrounded by four little boys, (who were very excited looking at those marshmallows! "NO, you cannot have any right now...they are for our camping trip!"), tears filling my eyes and hope filling my heart....thankful to God for His gifts....specifically on this day, camping trips and friendships...
Thanks for letting me share...and please put up with me as I learn to make time...but not too much time, for my blog!

The month of May

2007-06-05T10:43:00.000-05:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

A few months ago, a friend shared with me this idea that she had heard of someone else doing....take a picture every day for a year. A year in photos! While I LOVE this idea, I wasn't even sure if I could do a month. But I tried. I did fail...I forgot a few days, but I did try....so the above montage is our month of May, and the following is a description of our days...
playing with edible playdough at the dining room table
weeding the flower bed in front of the house
vegging in front of a movie
went down to the lakefront for the Rocket Launch day. A bomber flew right overhead...pretty cool.
My dear 12 year old in her room
A little friend's birthday party
I almost forgot to take a picture this day. I remembered after I was already in bed...I climbed out, snuck into the boy's room, covered the flash with my finger and snapped this picture!
A couple of kids (okay-young men) stopped by the house to visit after a youth group meeting. They are graduating this year and oh, how we are going to miss them!
working on a graduation quilt that I was helping my friend put together for her daughter
I came home from exercising one morning to see that, along with his morning chore of cleaning the bathroom, my eldest son also created this toilet paper tower-using my glasses!
Okay, here is the top of the quilt-all pieced and ready to send to the quilter!
The beginning of the sod project!
Mother's Day!
Our youngest son....my baby!
Going through the drive-thru at the bank....the kids try to make as much noise as possible so that the tellers will ask "do you have any children with you?".....and then send out candy.
Dancing with my hubbie!
oops.
Girlfriends weekend...we went for a lovely walk on one of the nature parks in our area.
Girlfriends weekend...the next morning before we headed home. (I love my friends)
oops again.
My eldest son organizing the computer games.
Went for a walk with my friend, Amy. This is her friend, the duck! (Amy I want to know how to link to your site-the way you do...) We had a great time!
This is how our lawn is looking a week after we laid it.
I can't believe I forgot again!
Here we are weeding again. I was getting ready to dig up my beds and just lay mulch over them because I didn't know what to do with the space, and a friend called up, told me she was thinning out her flower garden (a beautiful garden), and did I want some plants. Three hours later I was planting a bunch of new flowers (with her help, of course). I love my new flower beds! Thank you, Carolyn!
Here is the quilt-all done!
My little family-playing spoons on the living room floor!
On Memorial Day, we went up to a little amusement park with the children (and the little boy that I babysit). After Bay Beach, we went to "Red Hamster" for lunch. (that is what the 4 year old called it. I guess he got "lobster" and "hamster" mixed up. We got a good chuckle out of it!)
Here we are at the water park that is right down the street from where we live. It is so much fun to see them running around and having fun.
Okay-it's been a long month...here I am taking a nap with Gracie!
And here is my daughter and her friend with Gracie and Charlie-at 4H obedience classes!
Well, there you have it. Our month. (can't believe we are already on the 5th of June!)

Questionaire...

2007-05-31T10:42:00.000-05:00

1.Aprons – Y/N? If Y, what does your favorite look like?No, I don’t usually wear aprons. I do have a really pretty white one with red cherries that I ordered from The Gooseberry Patch….very cute! 2.Baking – Favorite thing to bake:Bread, granola and muffins.3.Clothesline – Y/N?No. I grew up with clotheslines, and only clotheslines. For me, I love the feeling of nice, warm clothes coming out of the dryer smelling like Simple Pleasures lavender and vanilla dryer sheets!4.Donuts – Have you ever made them?
No, but I’ve eaten them. Does that count?5.Every day – One homemaking thing you do every day:Straighten my living room. It is the one room of the house that I try to keep looking nice. So, every day (actually, a few times during the day) I straighten the pillows, refold the throw blankets, make sure the carpet is clean and that the couch is parallel to the carpet and spray some of that enzyme eater (to take of doggie smells) on everything to make it smell fresh. At least when my dh walks in the door, he sees order and calmness first thing….6.Freezer – Do you have a separate deep freeze?Yes, we have a chest freezer in the basement. Right now it is holding several bags of frozen veggies that were on sale last month, and the rest of the ½ pig that we purchased last fall. (and it usually holds some icecream)7.Garbage Disposal – Y/N?No. Unless our dachshund counts!8.Handbook – What is your favorite homemaking resource?I REALLY like the book Home Comforts by Cheryl Mendelson. 9.Ironing – Love it or hate it? Or hate it but love the results?I love ironing. Clothing is one of the only things in life that I get to iron the wrinkles out of, I get time to listen to a movie or music, bring order to my closets….what’s not to love?10.Junk drawer – Y/N? Where is it?No junk drawer. (but don’t think I don’t have junk. Just no drawer to put it in)11.Kitchen – Color and decorating scheme:
Do I have to tell you about my kitchen? It is very small, with one wall being faux red brick, one wall has green, white and red plain wallpaper, the other walls have some kind of flower patter. I am hoping to repaint this summer while my children are at my sister’s home for the week. I will paint a neutral color, with brown, yellow and red accents. Accents being my dish towels and dish cloths, mason jars of coffee beans and my coffeepot. No space for decorations. 12.Love – What is your favorite part of homemaking?I love to clean, straighten and organize. I am not so great at decorating, but I do enjoy making the most with what I have. I like to turn on lamps, light candles, and put on soft music. My greatest weakness is cooking…don’t love that so much. (that ‘s partly why I use a menu…so I don’t have to think about it more than once a week) 13.Mop – Y/N?I do love mopping, though I feel the best when I clean my floor on my hands and knees. In fact, that’s what I will be doing in just a little while. Yippee! 14.Nylons – Wash by hand or in the washing machine?Nylons? Well, if I wear them, I just throw them in the washing machine. Am I supposed to do it some other way?15.Oven – Do you use the window or open the oven to check?I open the oven to check . I think this is just habit from when we had an oven window that you couldn’t see through. I can see through this one just fine…I love it! 16.Pizza – What do you put on yours?I like sausage and jalapenos on my pizza. (or ham and mushrooms)
17.Quiet – What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment?Huh? Quiet moment? What’s that? Actually, last night dh and I were procrastinating going to bed because we were enjoying the quiet of the house with all the children in bed!

18.Recipe card box – Y/N? What does it look like?My recipe card box is a Mary Engelbreit design. Cute and colorful.
19.Style of house – What style is your house?No clue what “style” it is. It is a two story home, built in 1914, old plaster walls, hardwood throughout, covered porch…

20.Tablecloths and napkins – Y/N?I LOVE using tablecloths. My dining room is very simply decorated, so changing tablecloths is like re-decorating! Napkins-paper-though I do have some cloth ones-I usually use those to line the bread basket.
21.Under the kitchen sink – Organized or toxic wasteland?A little of both. Only two things fit under there…the RO system and the garbage bags.
22.Vacuum – How many times per week?We vacuum every day.

23.Wash – How many loads of laundry do you do per week?
15 or so. More if we are laundering bedding that week.24.X’s – Do you keep a daily list of things to do that you cross off?Yes. I have a binder which is my brain. And every day I have a list of things to cross off, or move to the next day if I don’t get it done.
25.

Take a look at how our lawn is turning out!

2007-05-23T10:41:00.000-05:00

We actually have a lawn... I am so excited about how it is turning out...there are still the lighter pieces in the middle, but they have improved so much over the last couple of days. (just compare this pic to the ones I took the day we laid the sod!) We still have 10 days before we can walk on it, and I am looking forward to it. Now I am just trying to figure out where to hang the hammock that my parents bought me before they left Bolivia. We are planning on working in the back yard again this weekend, trying to clean up all the miscellaneous stuff back there. I am hoping to find an outdoor table at a rummage sale, a bike rack so that we don't have the jumble of bikes to trip over when we come in the gate, and...my little dream, some type of water fountain. I have a dream of spending a summer afternoon laying in my hammock, reading a book, an iced coffee within reach, feeling the cool breezes, and listening to the sound of trickling water. (of course, I would have to ignore the sound of the heavy traffic that goes by our house 24/7...but, beggars can't be choosers, and I think it would be bliss!) Well, I'd better scoot!

Before we laid sod...

2007-05-17T10:40:00.000-05:00

Okay, I know that it looks kinda patchy in this photo (was taken as we were filling in the last pieces of sod), but as the days go by, the grass is evening out in color, growing, and looking real nice! I will post more pictures as we continue our "yard improvement" project. I am excited about reclaiming my back yard as "living space"....versus "junk yard". It was fun getting to tackle a home project, and we both have a sense of accomplishment over trying something new and watching it work out! We can't walk on it for a couple of weeks yet, but the timing will be perfect for when my niece and nephews come to spend the week with us in June! Well, I'd better get going. I need to turn on the sprinkler and then start bringing stuff up from the basement for a rummage sale! Busy days ahead, I don't know if I will be able to post for a couple of days, but will try on Saturday or Sunday.

"For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2007-05-14T10:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a full day. Worshipping with our church family, visiting with friends, dinner out, phone calls to our moms, naptime, evening church...all starting off with breakfast in bed, or course. After enjoying the cards, flowers, coffeecake and coffee in bed, we headed off to church. My heart was humbled and inspired by our pastor's message. On one hand, I felt like I am not the woman that he was describing. I mean, I want to be. But the truth is, I feel weak. I don't know that I have the "competent strength" that makes me noble. So often, mostly when I am dealing with my older sons, I throw up my hands and call my husband for help, feeling overwhelmed and at a loss. It isn't easy to admit this, it makes my heart sad. And yet, I will believe Him when He says "My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) My heart is yearning for His touch in this area of my life. I want to be a source of strength, a force not easily reckoned with, a mother who invests my heart in the stresses of life! As our pastor continued teaching, the Lord did encourage my heart with reminders of the ways He is changing me and growing me! For instance, every spring I order grain in bulk. Now, this order is delivered to a church which is an hour and a half from where I live. In previous years, my husband has done the driving because I don't like to drive through big cities and try to find places I've never been. (way out of my comfort zone). Well, in order to let my hubbie enjoy his much needed day of rest at home, I decided to try it by myself this year. And you know what? I had a great time! And the trip went just fine. My husband just smiled and hugged me as the pastor described the Proverbs 31 woman going out and taking risks to provide for her family... My heart overflows with amazement at the gentleness of God and the way He brings attention to the areas in my life that need His touch, with the way He can show me the areas that He has kept His promises to me. He is so good. I love the fact that all I can do is stand before Him honestly and say..."I am weak...I am nothing ...You are everything!" Yesterday was not only a full day...it was a wonderful day. Thank you, Lord!

Yes...and ramblings

2007-05-11T10:36:00.000-05:00

Those pictures drawn by my children are of Narnia. I've been eagerly anticipating the days that my youngest children would be interested in following along with the story, and now that those days are here, read-aloud time is one of my favorite times of the day. I look forward to reading through the Chronicles over the summer months...
I updated my montage with new pictures of my newest nephew! What a sweetie he is! I look at the last picture (the five of them as a family) and I'm so proud of my little brother! He loves his children so much, and he is a good daddy! J, thanks for taking such good care of my brother! I hear that their daughter was glad the baby wasn't a girl, because she wants to be "the princess"! (I don't blame you, Nity!)
This month I decided to use the chapter/verse from Proverbs corresponding with the day of the month. Today's was 11:11. Because I am not simply choosing my favorite verse from the chapter, but trying to keep with "the theme", it has caused me to think about verses that I might normally pass quickly over. Though I am not deeply involved in city politics (what I am saying, I am not involved at all) I realize that if we as believers live to honor God, we will make an impact for Him. Maybe it is simply the way I conduct myself at Walmart, or getting gas, or at the park, but the way I live my life in this small city of ours DOES count. Whether it be blessing or tearing it apart....Lord, help me to be an upright citizen that blesses my town and makes it prosper!

Can you guess what book we are reading?

2007-05-07T11:30:00.000-05:00

The first picture was drawn by my 10 year old son, the middle picture drawn by my 7 year old son, and the last picture drawn by my 6 year old son. So, any guesses? (I won't be offended if you guess wrong...)
We are enjoying this story very much. In fact, on Saturday, the children wanted to read more, so we all sat down to read a couple more chapters...even the 4 year old that I babysit likes the story....he loves "read aloud" time! One day, he reminded three different times that "we didn't have read-aloud yet". So, you know it's gotta be a good one!

I've been tagged!

2007-05-04T11:29:00.000-05:00

I've been tagged ! Here's how it works: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. You need to tag others and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!
I can't sleep without a fan blowing on me during the night. Yes, even during the winter. I made it up to my husband by purchasing a heated mattress warmer.
I like my hamburgers on a bun with just butter...very boring.
When I was a toddler, I would haul around my mom's sewing machine to help me reach what I needed.
One of my compulsions is...moving around the furniture in the house.
I cannot do even one sit up. Really, I've tried. I can barely do it with my dh sitting on my feet.
I love walking through cemeteries.
I've had the amazing privelege of growing up in a third world country. As a child of missionaries, I was exposed to cross-cultural situations...like sitting around a campfire with primitive people, having my father shot at (with bow and arrow) by these same people, having good friends who spoke a different language and lived in a different culture, and all the while, learning that people are the same all over the globe. We all have a need for Jesus, we all have a need for each other.
Okay, #7 almost became a blog entry on its own...sorry about the rambling. But now, to keep this game going (and because I need to go get dressed to go walking with my friend) I will tag...
wesayhi
JacqueDixonSoulRestES
MasonMoments
kcmyworld
withHim4ever
Have a great week!

Learning

2007-05-02T11:28:00.000-05:00

I love learning. I love reading. Last month, the children and I read "The Family Under the Bridge" (again) and it made me curious to learn more about Gypsies. So, I collected a few books from the library and have been studying those, learning more about these fascinating people, their history and their culture. Yesterday, while my youngest son was in a gym/swim class at the YMCA, I sat in the coffee shop with my book and my binder, reading and taking notes...it was bliss. Inside of me, there is a wish that I could go back to school to continue learning. You know what? I don't have to go back to school to continue learning...I have the library and the internet. I have periods of time when I can sit down with my pen and paper and dive into a book and LEARN. I hope that I am not only expanding my mind and knowledge, but setting an example to my children that learning is fun...and that we are never too "old" to learn something new.

My Prayer on this Monday morning

2007-04-30T11:27:00.000-05:00

I found this prayer, written by William Barclay, in a small treasury of poems and thoughts on the home. It has touched my heart, convicting me and inspiring me. May it bless you as well.
"O God, help me always to remember that You have given me the most important task in the world, the task of making a home.
Help me to remember this when I am tired of making beds, and washing clothes, and cooking meals, and cleaning floors, and standing in shops. Help me to remember it when I am physically tired in body, and when I am weary in mind with the same things which have to be done again and again, day in and day out.
Help me never to be irritable, never to be impatient, never to be cross. Keep me always sweet. Help me to remember how much my husband and children need me, and help me not to get annoyed when they take me for granted, and when they never seem to think of the extra work they sometimes cause me.
Help me to make this home such that the family will always be eager to come back to it, and such that, when the children grow up and go out to their own homes, they will have nothing but happy memories of the home from which they have come.
This I ask for Your love's sake. Amen"

Sunday Afternoon at the Lake

2007-04-29T11:26:00.000-05:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The above montage was from earlier today. How I love going with my family and sitting on a blanket in the grass...reading a book...watching the children play...listening to music...staring into the blue sky... Going down to this little stretch along the lake is one of the children's favorite things to do. In the summertime, we often bring along a book and do some read-aloud surrounded by the smells and sounds of Lake Michigan. We often bring a picnic lunch, and never once have we gone down without me hearing those words that make me groan, "Mom, I really have to go to the bathroom". (Thank goodness for bushes for the boys...) Anyway, it was a great day, and I thought I would post it here for you to enjoy as well!
But for now, I promised my little boys I would watch "Night at the Museum" with them, so I'd better get in there!

Puppy Play Date

2007-04-25T11:25:00.000-05:00

Okay, if any of you are dog lovers, you will understand this...a puppy play date! The adorable Dachshund on the left is our Gracie. The rascally little Schnoodle on the right is Charlie, my friend's dog. Last week, Charlie's playmate and "co-pet", Ginger, died suddenly of liver failure. Ginger was a wonderful dog. She was my friend's walking partner and constant companion. But as my friend is experiencing her loss, so is Charlie. Getting used to life without Ginger to play with him, keep him in line...well, it takes some getting used to. So, we invited Charlie over to play today. He and Gracie have always gotten along well...I believe that Ginger so patiently tolerated "the young pups" as they raced and rolled, chewed and growled...completely oblivious of anything but the fun they were having...and so today, here they are again, rolling around on the living room floor, oblivious to four boys and their puzzles! I am thankful for the many things that God gives us to make us smile...I am so thankful for the many amazing creatures that He gave us...simply to enjoy...

My 10 Daily Habits

2007-04-23T11:24:00.000-05:00

I love organizing...I love lists...I like e-mails that give me lists of ways for me to organize my home, my life, my whatever...I am a sucker for things like that. Yes, it does clutter my mailbox and my time, but I have found a couple of sites that are actually helpful. Anyway, one of these e-mails encouraged us to write down ten things which are important to us, which we want to become HABITS in our lives. At this time in my life, these are things which I need in my day...
My quiet time with the Lord...just me and Him...talking...listening...just being together....
Doing Pilates or going for a walk.
Taking time to read for 1/2 hour. (you need to understand that I had to put a time limit on this. I really love to read, and once I start, it is hard to stop. I must find balance in this.)
Drink 8 glasses of water. ( I do NOT love water...this one is hard.)
To write in my journal. (or blogging, for that matter.)
Take my multi-vitamin. (I take mine around noon....if I remember. I usually don't until my dh asks me at supper, "Did you take take your vitamin today?" .....oops.)
Straighten my bedroom. (embarassing to admit that this is a weak area. Our love nest is usually a rat's nest.)
Play the piano for at least 15 minutes.
Eat at least 3 fruits and veggies.
In bed by 9:30. (I am definitely NOT a night owl.)
Well, there they are. The ten habits I am working on right now. Some of them are more engrained into my day...some have not been as easy to hang on to....but, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

A peak into my son's heart

2007-04-20T11:23:00.000-05:00

Last night, my husband and one of the boys had a chat. During this discussion, our young man asked why we didn't want him playing his new "Zoo Tycoon" game so much. And my dh explained that there is nothing wrong with the game, we simply didn't want it to become an idol...the most important thing in his life. A while later, my hubbie was sitting at the computer, and he happened to glance down into the garbage can to see...you guessed it.... "Zoo Tycoon". He called our son downstairs and asked why he threw it away, and my little guy answered him "Daddy, I didn't want it to become an idol in my life." (Wow) My dh explained that he didn't need to throw it away, but rather, we would work on self-control and how much he plays it. This morning I am in awe of my son's willingness to immediately get rid of something that he really likes...in order to avoid it becoming an idol in his heart. Am I as determined to keep God the most important thing in my heart? ...I will continue to meditate on this....
Thank you, Lord, for my children and the example they set for me!

Cuzin' Camp

2007-04-19T11:22:00.000-05:00

The weekend before Easter, my children (five of the above) spent the weekend in Missouri with some of their cousins. My parents had invited all of the potty-trained grandchildren to spend the weekend with them, giving the moms and dads some time alone. The cousins had such a great time together, going to the Bass Pro Shop in Springfield, going for walks, playing together... It makes my heart so happy to see how much they love each other, even though they only see each other a few times a year. So, here they are in the back of Pa and Oma's truck...matching shirts...plenty of Skittles...